Friday, 9 August 2013

The Science of Dark Matter, Squirrels and Micro Gods

Mr Chris the Builder was back today as planned and as he worked away busily making concrete squirrels and I was back down in the mud of the deep trench, (if you are wondering Zombies really hate Squirrels, it is a well known fact). Anyway as we toiled away Mr Chris the builder said to me Rob it has been a long time since you discussed anything of ANY scientific note, its all Zombies these days and he is right so I thought SCIENCE thoughts not Zombie thoughts.



So as I was thinking and we moved some three foot paving slabs which are rather heavy beasts it occurred to me that energy and force can all be a bit odd, well some forms of them can. Lifting paving slabs is all very easy to understand; your body is a source of energy that creates a force and uses the body to lift the slab by physical contact with the slab. But if you think about the moon it goes round the Earth held in place by a force called gravity, it might sound simple enough but a force can only be exerted on a thing if there is a link. Like lightning that is energy that links to the ground, and it has substance, it is a real thing, an understandable force.  Gravity in order to be gravity has to somehow have some sort of link, and we are not talking small links with no force after all the link creates tides at sea so this is serious energy and force and plainly a huge and substantial link. So how come we cant see it, like a giant shimmering blue haze all the way to the moon, well I am glad you asked me that because I will tell you what this link is made of…… Dark Matter


Yes for ages scientists have told us that the universe is mainly made of Dark Matter but no one can find it, what they need to do is start looking at the gravitational links between everything. Links are links because they are made of stuff even if you can’t see the stuff, and the stuff has substance, if there was no link then things like the moon would just drift off and cats would float into the sky. So in short Gravity has substance and the substance of Gravity is Dark Matter, but for reasons best know to the appropriate Micro God we cant see it or do useful things with it . . . . . OK yes dad can he has a Dark Matter Motor to run the all new Mk2 Weather Machine which he hopes to switch on in just a week or two.



.
.

13 comments:

  1. I am having trouble with dark matter. I can not get my picture to print out of CorelDRAW dark enough and I only have a black ink cartridge and I told it to only use that cartridge. Ah, so I have "Not Dark Enough Matter".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do squirrels hate zombies?

      I wrote a story once about how squirrels were trying to assassinate my dog. It even had squirrel dialogue. I even had proof: Nuts in the wrong place, weapons of mass destruction.

      Today's dumb joke: What do you caLL a zombie that moves too fast?

      Answer: a zoombie

      Hahahahahaaaaaa

      Delete
    2. WHAT I am sure I have answered your comment twice Mr ESB and on both occasions they have vanished, most odd

      I am trying again I surely cant do it wrong three times

      Delete
    3. HHAH HAHAHHAH haha hahah hahh ha hahah ha hahah ha ha ha it worked

      What do you call a Zombie Insect

      A Zoom-Bee

      HAH HAH HAH HA ha hah ah haha h ahah ahha a

      Delete
    4. Ha ha ha ha ha - I was fighting wasps yesterday, and winning, s'pposedly. They had made a bad spot in the grapevines. I noticed them when the leaves had suddenly deteriorated in a smaLL section.

      Delete
    5. If it ever dries up outside then I wiLL take my vacuum cleaner and attack the wasps with that device. I plan to use a veRy long piece of PVC tubing on the end of the vacuum cleaner.

      Delete
    6. I think you should use the powder rather than a vacuum cleaner as that could get rather scary when it is time to empty it.

      I take it that the weather is not warm and sunny over there.

      Delete
    7. I plan to put a screen in the PVC pipe and then have a water deluge valve to empty out the system of insects after disconnecting the vacuum cleaner. I wiLL publsh my design.

      Delete
  2. Man, you reminded me of the good old days when it was just WIMPS and MACHOS. Now we have all this dark energy BS too. I'm so out of touch with my missing mass theories. It's like when you realise you have no idea who the fuck the band on the radio are any more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surely yo mean the Wireless.....

      Delete
    2. not Yo but You . . . . . stupid keyboard

      Delete
  3. This is the closest I've gotten to actually understanding the concept of dark matter. Well done.
    I had no idea zombies hated squirrels, useful information for this zombie apocalypse we'll be having at some point in the future.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All you need is a squirrel hat and you will be safe. . . . . . A useful tip, something my blog is not know for.

      Delete