Thursday, 22 August 2013
Grannies Soft Furnishings, Zombies and keyholes
I learnt something very interesting about Zombies today, no I don’t want to here you are groaning about more Zombies unless you are a Zombie, in which case you cant help groaning a bit. You see I was speaking to Mr Jones and he knows about Zombies from his nights spent looking for aliens at night in the woods, and he often runs into the odd Zombie and has long ago mastered the art of escape. So he told me today that Zombies hate comfy soft furnishings and in particular have an aversion to Grannies almost indestructible old carpet, So although it may sound a bit odd I was carpeting one of the smaller holes in the Zombie defence system in order to keep them away. The one draw back appears to be that cats will sleep all over the Zombie defence system ruining its overall image and I am now preparing for an attack by tigers.
While on the subject of Granny have you ever noticed that if you peer through a keyhole in a door, most of the time you will see an eye staring at you from the other side and hear mad demented whispering and the scratching of claws at the door handle. I keep telling granny she should be less nosey.
Ooooo yes I also heard this strange unfamiliar sound a bit earlier while I was laying carpet in a small hole and stood there thinking what the hell is that it was very loud and sounded to me like a man with a flame thrower. What I did not do and what I should have done is look straight upwards as it was a hot air balloon full of Zombies who I think only floated off into the next field when they observed the distinct pattern of Grannies carpet looming at them from the ground.