Thursday, 2 May 2013

The May Bug and decimal currency

I had a thought last night, I thought hang on its May what happens in May in the UK, what strange creature can cause the meandering masses to scream and flap about in a frenzied madness unseen since the January sales of 1972 when Harrods put the decimal point in the wrong place due to an error caused by unfamiliar use of a strange new currency based on 10. What fool thought that idea up what was wrong with 12 pence in a shilling and 20 shilling in a pound and one pound and a shilling was a guinea and a pony would buy a top class meal in the Ritz and cover the tip, these days the pony is the meal.

Sorry a distraction I was about to discuss the beast, the creature of the night that can turn a man, although to be fair mainly women to gibbering IDIOTS hiding under a duvet in the bath screaming “get it away from me the evil beast of evil as sent by the evil one to ruin spring”.  I am myself an old friend of these beasts and I have had many a happy night sitting round the campfire with these creatures as they fly about crashing into trees, walls, cows, rocks, seagulls or any other obvious large obstruction that any other beast would avoid with ease.  You see these fearsome creatures of death are the world’s worst aviators and could not fly in a straight line even if they where travelling first class on Concord, super glued into their seats.

I suspect most of you will by now be well aware of what beast we are talking about . . . . . ..  Yes it is the famous May Bug of Britain a creature that evolution predicts should have become extinct 500 million years ago due to total incompetence and a lack of efficiency that equals that of a dauphin (sorry dolphin) on a unicycle wearing a blindfold. 

Talking of which the Ghost Writer has been at his office today and all is not well it appears due to all this fangled decimal currency which apparently still confuses the accountant, so much so that he has found himself in a luxury hotel in a tax haven (the accountant not the Ghost Writer). He has left a letter saying he was hoping for a lottery win but  . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN, it did not work out quite as planned.

The Ghost Writer is his usual gibbering self after a day as the world’s greatest IT guru although his office may be getting smaller very soon due to unforeseen circumstances as a result of decimal based money rather than proper money.  His one glimmer of hope is that if no one is about to use the computers they will not need fixing…….



  1. A most impressive post, we do have some strange going ons here but it wouldn't be Britain without them.


    1. Indeed I think Britain is rather good at quirky old traditions and strange goings on. And I like to think I am adding my bit.

  2. I had to read that opening paragraph three times, to make sense of all the pounds, shillings and pences, which according to Google, is not a real word.

    Although the weather has been lovely, I'm non to happy about the new genetic mutant hybrid bees that I've been seeing recently. I almost hitched a ride on one the other day, it was that big. Still having nightmares about last year's ginormous Emperor Dragonflies, that spent the summer dive bombing us all like demented fighter pilots! :)

    1. We have had a few large bees and I am quite pleased because bees are having a hard time at present due to some virus that turns them into Zombie Bees (Zom-Bees. . . .HAH HAH AH HAH HAH AH HAh ah ha haha h ah ahahah ahah hahah ah hah aha h aha ha ha hah ha ha) DAMN that would have been such a cool Z post still I have the Z to A to do at some point so you can newer tell, if I remember.

      I like Dragonflies too, I am that sort of chap....