All is well with the power today (so far)
and it has also been sunny and is due to be sunny for a few days so WELL COOL, tomorrow
is the day to let our electricity supplier know how much electricity we have
generated in the last quarter. It is a day dad likes, it is always good to get
money from your main supplier of power rather than to give them money, although
this last quarter has been a little disappointing for solar panels mainly
because we have seen very little sun. The solar panels have been on the roof a
whole 12months now and over that period have generated enough power to easily
pay for the entire cost of all our power usage over the same period so
effectively we have zero energy costs and are energy neutral. This is why dad
always smiles on sunny days and chases seagulls away from the solar panels who
he says have been hired by the electricity suppliers to shade the sun from the
solar panels of all members of the general public, not that it has not been a
good twelve months for sun in the UK. It also means we can switch things on
without any real worry about cost of energy. Well maybe the latest 50 foot high 1950’s electrically powered robot
used a lot of power but then it short circuited yesterday when it malfunctioned
and hit a wooden post with a large transformer on and had 11,000 volts arcing
out of its head causing a bit of an explosion. Dad thought it best not to tell
mum and has told me to keep it a secret . . . . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN . . . . . Dad has said IDIOT but luckily mum
has distracted him by hitting him on the head with the armadillo toaster . . .
. . . . PHEW.
Because it is Valentines
Day today Esmeralda thought someone should get her loads of flowers, she asked
for volunteers but we all thought it best to runaway very fast and hide. So in
an act of rebellion she aimed the steam powered catapult at the flower shop and
gave the goat strict instructions on what to bring back, red roses and
expensive orchids. Well there were mutterings that this was all going to end in
tears and sure enough it did.
I will say Esmeralda has
certainly got her eye in with range finding these days and there is no denying
that both her and the goat make a formidable force to be reckoned with but
there one weakness still is communication. You see no matter how long we have
all spent trying to get the goat to speak the English language it still has not
mastered a single word, it does not help that the goat always eats all its
English language books and its homework. And Esmeralda also is not great with
languages either and is something of a traditionalist in as much that if
someone does not understand her she shouts at them . . . . . .This is very
traditional in Britain particularly is someone is trying to get directions; you
would be amazed by how many foreign tourists have gone deaf trying to find the
Tower of London.
AH DAMN distracted . . . . . . Yes the goat and the flower shop,
the goat landed perfectly right in front of the roses as planned but then
promptly ate all of them, in fact the goat thought flowers were food (goats
think everything is food). So as the
goat worked its way through the flowers the owners of the flower shop hit the
goat with a large wreath saying GOODBYE UNCLE JACK. This is water off a ducks back to the goat;
he has after all been chased by the entire staff of a large supermarket
throwing bar code readers at him. What
was a surprise was goats do not eat orchids so when the goat returned he did
have several orchids discreetly hidden about his person (?) so Esmeralda was
very happy . . . . . . PHEW.
However as I said it did end in tears because
as we passed the flower shop on the school bus heading home after school the
owners of flower shop were very distraught and crying describing a goat to a
policeman, as were many husbands who had rushed into to get flowers because
they had suddenly thought ******* its Valentines Day DAMN . . . . only to find
out all the flowers had been eaten by a goat, although there were several men
fighting over the last orchid……
.
Seriously, Esmeralda is losing control...though I admit that I'm beginning to warm to her, unlike the weather we're having. :)
ReplyDeleteI think we all have an inner Esmeralda trying to get out . . . . And it is sunny today it looks just like spring . . . . . . . . . .YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYy
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