It’s a funny old world at times there I was
eating my Pizza and pondering about whether if I placed a needle in the centre
and span it like a top it would allow me to sprinkle an even coating of chilli
flakes on my Pizza, It sounded easy enough but in practice did not work at all
well because to get the pizza to spin in a stable fashion involved it rotating
at a speed that meant most of the topping flew off, resulting in a bit of a mess which
despite blaming on the cats got me into a bit of bother. Anyway that is as the
saying goes by the by, why does the saying go ‘by the by’ it makes no sense to
me what so ever.
As I was finishing the last of my pizza
everyone announced that they were all off to The GUILD of GROTESQUES and
GARGOYLES for the night and have left me home alone, well I say home alone but
there are two cats staring at me who are not happy because firstly I blamed
them for the Pizza spinning miscalculation and secondly because they are
covered in cheese and chilli flakes.
When you live out in the wilds surrounded by wild country foxes and
badgers it is not particularly streetwise to go out exploring in the woods when
you smell of cheese chilli and Pizza because to a wild beast these are smells
that are worth pursuing at all costs.
There is many an evening when Mr Jones the Alien hunter has had his Big
Mac eaten by badgers as he hides in the bushes, he says, he has had more run
ins with badgers than the police and both pinch his Big Mac’s although only the
badgers eat the polystyrene carton too.
In general, today was yet
again very quiet, Esmeralda is excused school until she is no longer bright
green. Her attempt to go to buy her own Big Mac last night was a bit of a
disaster first the staff thought she was a Martian because she was bright
green, so screamed a lot and ran about so would not serve her. Then Mr Jones
who has established that a Big Mac will always help in communicating with Aliens
bought Esmeralda her Big Mac. But then Mr Jones does have a habit of hunting
Aliens naked. So he then found himself in the police station trying to explain
why he was buying bright green aliens Big Macs with no clothes on while a
policeman ate Mr Jones Big Mac. As for Esmeralda she had sort of borrowed the A
level project Invisibility Cloak and was able to make her escape although sadly
Freddie’s ferret got wind of her Big Mac and ate it while she was being
distracted by a badger and still in shock from a naked alien hunter leaping
about in front of her with two Big Mac’s.
I’m really sorry not much
is happening at present maybe once the sun turns up and it is warm again things
will be less boring……… at this rate I will be discussing a fly walking up a
window. As it happens that is a bit odd because a fly will fly into a window
presumably because it can’t see the window, so why then does it walk on
something it can’t see. And if it can see the window to walk on it, then it
should not fly into it.
.
Before he became completely unhinged, the lil man once asked that if flies didn't have wings, would they be called 'walks.'
ReplyDeleteAs for Esmeralda, no female should have to face the trauma of a naked man flashing his big macs at them. Hope that she is over the shock. :)
Yes my blog is a family friendly blog and Mr Jones leaping about waving his Big Mac's at Esmeralda is a bit of a worry, however it would be so much worse if I had written.
DeleteBig Mac was standing naked waving his Mr Jones at Esmeralda . . . . . . AH DAMN I just wrote that DAMN. If you are a child please avert your gaze now....YICKS.
Hahaha! As The lil man would say, I was highly amused by that.
DeleteI have been busy with math today doing research on Mersenne Prime Numbers, eXperi-mental eXcitement.
ReplyDeleteMr ESB . . . . I am sure it is good for the brain to do such things but well I may avoid googling that just in case my head explodes... But good luck
DeleteI wiLL a report on my blog later. I agree, we don't need your head eXploding, might be a bit messy but eXciting for zombies.
DeleteQuite agree about the Zombies. I will be watching your blog for complex things I don't understand.
DeleteI took a break from my studies and research in order to go rescue my friend Jim electricaLLy. His recently purchased vehicle needed some jumper cables. So I wandered to the diner where Jesus and I have been discussing a huge variety of topics. I am only drinking coffee so it is much easier to chat. I should probably go home and cook something. There is a Creedance Clearwater Revival song playing just ever so slightly audible above the kitchen noise and customers. Chaosity.
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