Friday, 22 February 2013
−273.15°C (Absolute Zero) an Orange and a Long Journey
We have arrived at the end of the week, the end of the half term holidays and I am sure it is getting cooler as time passes not warmer, I think the fact that some Ski school in the foot hills of Birmingham is sending dad large sums of money may be a factor in all this cold weather; that and some deal he has going on with the local coal man makes me think it is all very suspicious indeed.
One thing I don’t think I have mentioned yet in my diary which has been happening for a while now the occasional orange turning up on the grass verge at the side of the road I noticed one today outside the Castle of the Bishop, there it was just sort of sat there minding its own business. It is strange because this is a regular occurrence and sometimes I can see two are three by the side of the road but never together or in the same place, and this has gone on for a least a year now. While we were out at the Castle of the Bishop getting things we also saw Mexican Dave and his large truck which was sort of blocking the road but only so he could unload a large consignment of fresh oranges which he was in the process of doing using a fork lift truck when we arrived at Tough Harries Inn to get our provisions. It is not often I get waved at by someone in a fork lift.
There is much to be done outside but as we appear to be in the middle of a mini ice age much of it is not getting done. There is a point (temperature) at which things get slower, I am working on a theory that time might even be temperature dependent and at some point, maybe at a temperature of −273.15°C or lower time will in fact stop. There is much talk that absolute zero is the point at which things cant get colder but by adding a wind chill effect it is possible to create a temperature that feels colder than −273.15°C (Absolute Zero) They are always saying on the BBC weather that it will be round about freezing tomorrow but with wind chill it will feel more like -3 so by using a super cooled conductors and a wind machine dad and I have worked out that we can stop time in his garage.
Stopping time in dads garage may seem silly but as dad says people often look in the garage windows and it appears he is not doing anything but he can now tell them why it is; time in the garage is moving much slower, and that in reality dad is working very fast but from the outside it will look like he is having a sleep and supping tea, it also explains his silly woolly hats.
Right I need to warn you I have to go on a long journey tomorrow to a place called something like Molten Beans to see a man about certain things that involve things I don’t know about because I have not been told, I have been offered fish and chips and that is good enough for me and I am hoping a place (Plaice HAH HAHh hah haha hahahahha haha hah ahhaha ha ) called Molten Beans is warmer that Absolute Zero. But this means I will not be here tomorrow night, other people will, people who do not write a diary so as my technology is large and lumpy there will be no diary entry tomorrow. It you are reading this tomorrow, then I mean today, and if you are reading this after tomorrow I should be back and normality returned has returned to normal . . . . . . If it has not then . . . . . . . . . AH