Muddy Holes, Chainsaws and the wrong kind of Mud

Today is Saturday and it was a leisurely start to the day, it was also something of a shock all round I suspect to most of us living in  Britain because the sun was shinning there was no wind and it looked like a beautiful day. I will say looked because viewing this from a classic seventies bungalow with huge double glazed widows is deceptive. And on going outside to take in what looked like the first day of spring was in its self a shock as a thousand sharp pointy points of frost stabbed through my clothing making the point it was rather cold.  So with the weather sunny but bitterly cold it was decided by a show of hands that the best person to send into the muddy hole was me. There was one vote against me going into the growing muddy hole but that turned out to be me, it was not all bad (just mainly bad) because one of the reasons that the muddy hole is muddy and not draining water away as it should is a huge willow tree, the one removed by the mad axe man with chainsaws a bit back had grown roots into the muddy hole, Large roots ones so large even a nice sharp saw was not adequate. So I got to use a chainsaw to cut some of the roots away. WELL COOL.

Now using a chainsaw in a muddy wet cold and as it happens very smelly hole might be fun but there was one thing I had not considered about this. You see a chainsaw blade rotates rather fast in order to cut through the roots which were up to six inches in diameter, and the muddy hole is full of mud and water and stuff. The blade rotates in such a way that the side that cuts on the bottom of the chainsaw is coming towards you and a fast rotating chainsaw blade coming into contact with smelly muddy mud and water as it cuts the root means that the smelly muddy mud and water is sprayed straight at you. This is not nice and being covered in smelly muddy mud and being told that you are not allowed back in the house with smelly muddy clothes on that are sort of dripping things off them is not ideal, particularly when a dog, two cats and dad are rolling about in hysterics pointing at you from the warm side of the huge double glazed windows of a classic seventies bungalow and it is rather cold.

I did make it back into the house, otherwise I would not be writing this now but there is more root to be cut out of the cold wet muddy hole using the chain saw which is fine except I know what will happen next time now. Dad has said in order to give me a sporting chance of not having to go into the hole we can play Scissors Paper Stone . . . . . . . . . . . .AH . . . DAMN.

Oooooo yes I had the worlds best fish and chips last night YUM.

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