Well there I was having a busy day of
Theoretical Mathematics, The history of the Byzantium Empire in History. The
Economics of a double dip recession and Quantitive Easing in Economics. The Aerodynamics of the Mad March Hare in
Natural History. And how to teleport a spider from one large glass jar to
another five feet away in Physics by modifying two old microwaves, rather than
using Esmeralda’s steam catapult made for the school goat. I think Esmeralda
had not thought about the fact that the spider was slightly less than half the
weight of the school goat and so the headmaster was rather annoyed by the large
hole in the ceiling. The Spider was rather annoyed at finding himself in the
freezer section of the out of town supermarket too and as he is a rather large
spider as I said about half the weight of the school goat who is, to put it
bluntly a bit fat from living on school dinners and sacrificial pupils (Ooooo
sorry I was not meant to mention that was still going on……..DAMN sorry
Headmaster). Anyway yes the spider was rather annoyed and it was a bit of a
shock for the supermarket staff who thought at first it was the goat, but
realized when an innocent bag packer was spun into a ball of silk and taken off
to a quiet corner to be eaten later. The only good thing is they will
appreciate the arrival of the goat a bit more next time, once they have worked
out how to get a large spider out of the store.
.
Never try and teleport insects. Look what happened to Jeff Goldblum.
ReplyDeleteI know he became our Physics teacher which is why he has this grudge against insects. flies in particular but there are not many of them about in the winter.
DeleteWell, I lost anything I was going to say when I saw Tony's comment. So true. They'd have to make a movie called, simply, "The Spider." Bad mojo. It wouldn't draw as many people, because too many are afraid of spiders. That's why they had to go with The Fly.
ReplyDeleteShannon at The Warrior Muse
Spiders do have that effect on folk and yes there are a few huge ones and poisonous ones and some that leap three feet into the air and can out run a man but in general they are all just softies who like a bit of a chat on the web with their mates . . . .HH AHHAH HAH HAH HAH AH HAHHAH HAHH AH HAH HAHHAHAHH HAHH A
DeleteKILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry Rob Z but I have a confession to make. I couldn't read all of this post for fear of seeing a close-up of the arachnid mentioned.
My fear of the wretched things, is a phobia that blights my life. I cannot view images of them, even in cartoon form because I become shaky, breathless and start to hyperventilate. Funny thing is, I draw them all the time. Weird huh?
Remember Miss Lily here in the UK spiders are fundamentally harmless, they just look bad. I can look disheveled, crumpled and a bit manky and bad at times and scare folk (in particular the vicar) but behind the fangs and eight legs I am just an friendly critter that eats flies?
DeleteHang on I don't eat flies.