After a long stint on top of the Christmas
tree in hiding the Chicken has finally got off after he/she was reassured that
this was in fact a new world record for a chicken, even if the Guinness book of
Records refuses to recognize a new world record for a knitted chicken on top of
a Christmas tree. As the chicken says (OK SORT OF) it is not easy to roost on
top of a artificial Christmas tree for long periods as there is little to eat,
just a few glass balls, an angel, and fairy lights which is hardly ideal food to
produce a decent egg.
The day has been remarkably peaceful starting
with a bit of pointing and prodding at Tongue and Groove Panelling, then the nodding
and shaking of heads and a final AH . . . . . Yes; before we all headed of to
see family members who are having a bit of hassle with kitchen cupboards, once
there we were all able to point and prod at kitchen cupboard doors then nod and
shake our heads while pointing at tape measures and saying AH . . . . Yes, metric measurements . . . . . .
DAMN, we are you see deep down imperial people, and old sayings like ‘give then
an inch and they take a yard’ are ruined in metric.
I have noticed that most
of the Christmas lights around us have now vanished, we are one of the few houses
in the area if not the world that think fairy lights are for life not just for
Christmas. Lets face it given a choice of two or three glaring spot lamps on
the front of the house or just over three thousand fairy lights, lighting everything
up in a nice warm glow; I don’t think it takes a great deal of thought to decide
which is the aesthetically more pleasing. Unless of course you are a security guard
with a growling dog and you love your job so much you like to patrol your home
long into the night on your days off. Shouting stop
who goes there as a bored pensioner with a Pekinese heads off to the
park to chase pigeons and annoy the teenagers by sitting on the swings and
waving their false teeth at them (that’s the pensioner not the Pekinese).
Oooo I had to unhook a
finger from a hook today, it was a homemade hook, I am rather good at making
homemade hooks……..
OK enough I am off again
now to do other things which will also include eating FOOD . . . . . YuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmMMMM.
.
Waving false teeth at passers by is a powerful image. Ans that chicken looks like something off Pipkins. (Probably before your time).
ReplyDeletePipkins is sadly long after my time as time is an illusion and I am much older than most of the bloggers blogging. But I do believe there is a theory that states the mind goes backwards beyond a certain point in time . . . . . .PHEW that's lucky
DeleteI think if a chicken ate a light bulb, it may produce eggs that glow. EspeciaLLy if the chicken is plugged in the power grid.
ReplyDeleteStrangly Mr ESB I did think about taking a photo of the chicken with a glowing egg. I will save this idea as a possible option for the future however. . . . . .
DeleteWhy should Guiness get the final word on what is a world record and what isn't? It's a crazy monopoly of epic proportions. Its wrong. Why should the makers of (one of my favourite tipples) be in charge of saying who is the best at something.
ReplyDeleteI am a world record holder and I think the chicken should have the record for sitting on top an artificial christmas tree.
We should produce some sort of RATS award for this and hold ceremonies and have medals and a celebrity patron.
There! I've said it.
Lets make it so.
OK Mr H I am on the case RATs awards will be awarded . . . . I always remember that Roy Castle breaking all sorts of weird records on his TV show with the McWhirter twins who would hold stop watches and clip boards and announce IT IS INDEED A RECORD, just think Mr H if in those days there was 3D television they joys we would all see
DeletePipkins, Roy Castle and the McWhirter Twins, I feel like I've entered a time corridor.
ReplyDeleteI too had to unhook my finger from a hook today, so excuse me if I don't make much sense but the ensuing blood loss is causing me to %^&^%U*HJnj
Luckily for me at least the finger I had to unhook from a hook was not my finger and therefore the blood was not mine. I hope your finger will recover soon, it appears the other finger is also recovering OK. Welcome to 2013 Miss Lily
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