The land where pheasants and Snow Zombies die

We have reached the point where snow is vanishing quite quickly now, I think I can safely say that most people have had enough of the snow, it may look nice but this is Britain and we are not genetically or mechanically or administrablely (?) designed for long term snow. The pheasants who were looking a little more perky this morning as the snow started to vanish off their field got into a bit of a panic when men with guns started shooting at them, the poor old pheasants having first been chased with men with dogs. And although the dogs were young and quite bouncy the men were old and not bouncy, which sort of gave the pheasants a chance to turn back, and at least a few got to escape over the road while one or two hid in our garden (not in the big muddy cold hole).

In previous years myself and the pheasants have done a re-enactment of the classic film The Alamo, where we are not the Mexicans; as in the remake they are the ones with twelve bores and 4X4’s, today we were all caught out by surprise. Pheasants without a leader are not organised, although I will say they are very democratic and tend not to fight each other over food like most other birds.

This brings me to another event in the day our bird watch as part of the RSPB national bird watch this weekend, we are not keen bird watchers they are a strange lot who will spend hours hiding in a shrub with binoculars peering into an oak tree looking for a lesser spotted pied corn crake or the like. But we thought we would do our bit, one hour watching through the patio doors recording what landed, this can be done anytime this weekend so why not have a go if you are in the UK. I would not recommend the dogs cunning plan of covering the bird table in glue and then coming back an hour later and doing a quick tally it will only lead to trouble when next doors cat is found stuck fast to the bird table with an eagle in its mouth.  It appears that my knowledge of birds is a bit limited so all the small birds I recorded as blue tits and anything larger was a golden eagle, I saw twenty seven golden eagles last year which lead to the arrival of 300 twitchers with huge telephoto lens on their cameras desperate to see them. Luckily dads steam powered pterodactyl still worked and we were able to keep them happy and the dog made a few pounds selling bacon butties.

OK back to now, after that I sort of came to a grinding halt because the weather is in a state of transition so my brain is thinking spring, sun, warmth, so I leapt outside to find I am standing is soft sludgy snow and ice with the occasional pheasant with his head stuck in it pretending to be an ostrich, apparently the men with guns don’t shoot ostrich, but only because the dogs cant pick them up and take them back to the men with guns. So I am now hiding inside waiting for spring and the sun…….. Maybe I should have left the pheasants outside they are not house trained.

Oooo and as I type the rain and wind has arrived, I don’t know whose rain we have pinched over the last few months but you can have it back now we don’t mind. . . . . My diary is turning into a weather forecast again sorry.

Ooooo goodbye snow zombie 

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That is a very cool bird 

HA HAHAHH AHhah hah ah ha hah ah hah hah hahah hahhah 

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