The worlds largest Steam Powered Goldfish and the Ghost Writer

The Ghost Writer has seen the highs and lows of being a hunter today. He had decided that he was going to use his hunting skills to get into the Guinness Book of Records today, so went of to catch the worlds largest goldfish. It took some time but he arrived back triumphant and proudly posed for photographs, unfortunately dad made the mistake of pointing out that the goldfish was in fact a Steam Powered Goldfish with an auto gyroscopic floatation chamber (swim bladder) and an electro-magnetic current indicator and solenoid operated fins.

The Ghost Writer said he was wondering why they were pointing and sniggering at him at the fishing club, he had put it down to jealousy and now it appears he has made a fool of himself again, and even worse has the man from the Guinness Book of Records turning up in the morning to measure the goldfish.  Dad did point out that sitting next to our pond with his fishing rod made it very likely that catching a Steam Powered Goldfish was always going to be the outcome as there are no real goldfish in it, as the Heron with the bent beak will testify.

Ooooo While on the subject of Herons did I mention I saw a 15 foot high heron while we were driving back from IKEA last time, that was a bit odd.

As for myself today I have been a lumberjack cutting down the hedge and weaving it back into the hedge in the old tradition of the old hedgers. Well not quite in the old tradition of the old hedgers because that can be rather hard work so me and the dog sort of stabbed the hedge with all the bits we cut. It works almost as well as all that weaving although the hedge does look more hedgehog like than that of the professional hedgy people. I think in the ancient days of hedging they must have started in the same way I have done hedging because the hedge does look like a hedgehog so I can only assume the hedgehog was named after a hedge that looked like the hedgehog. It’s a bit like that chicken question . . . . .. Which can first the hedges or the hedgehog?

We also discovered that or little pepper plant was not a pepper plant at lunch time when we had some slices of a pepper in our sandwiches and discovered the pepper was in fact a rather hot chilli (WELL COOL sorry I mean WELL HOT).

It also appears that solar panels do not work so well in the winter and washing machines do not all leap about trying to kill the cats and can even be rather quiet, not sure how long that will last, it’s like new cars. They can be really quiet then after a bit they start to squeak a bit, and before you know it you need earplugs.

OK I am off now to do exciting things like dismantle a thing . . . . . . . . . It’s a man thing. When I say it a man thing I do not mean the thing I am dismantling is a man thing, I mean men like dismantling things, so dismantling things is a man thing . . . ..  Although we do not always put them back together because that is not as much fun.

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