Monday, 5 November 2012

Philosophy and the Science of Existence,

At school today we had a new  temporary teacher in a bright white suit who was teaching us Philosophy and in particular Philosophy and the Science of Existence, apparently according to the teacher it is possible we are not real and live in the mind of a greater being or the strange world of cyberspace. OK yes I do live in the strange world of cyberspace but that is beside the point, the point is I am me and therefore I exist.

So we were talking about the known and unknown, and does something happen even though we do not see it happen, a bit like the tree in the wood. So the teacher said did I know of an event that was happening that I could not see happening but that I could prove had happened. Well I told him that was easy because I knew that the Ghost Writer was buying a new coat to replace a coat that was eaten by a mouse in his car while he was watching the   aurora borealis in Scotland. The teacher seemed a bit sceptical and implied that a mouse could not eat a coat, but it did because I have seen the remains (of the coat not the mouse), in fact I told the teacher I was wearing the remains of the coat the other night while I was wandering about in the dark with a axe being a lumberjack (sort of) and accidently scarring a passing Bradley Wiggins lookalike on a bike.  Just by luck the Ghost Writers coat fits rather well considering much of it is in a mouse in Scotland.
The Ghost Writer proving he is real. . . .maybe

But the thing is I can prove that the Ghost Writer has a new coat because I have now seen his new coat and jolly nice it is too, it is a good coat the sort of coat I would buy. But the teacher said even if I did see the coat and the Ghost Writer let me put it on for a few seconds it may not really actually happen, and it might just be part of some sort of experiment in a computer, no more that someone typing words on a keyboard. I did point out that, this was silly because no one I know can type properly. Napoleon Beelzebub said the teacher in the white suit is merely a walk on extra, like in Star Trek and will be eaten by a large monster before we even get to know his name.

Funnily enough just before the end of the lesson Esmeralda who was getting bored noticed a thread loose on the teacher’s bright white suit, and as he walked past her she attached it to her clip on interchangeable drill attachment and set it to fast. I think her idea was it would be like catching a large Marlin, she was a bit jealous of the Ghost Writers large Steam Powered Goldfish, that he caught yesterday in the pond. But as the drill span and the thread whizzed off the suit all that was left was a small little microchip that bleeped and then vanished.
Everyone was much happier then, knowing that we are all real and that the teacher was in fact a computer program. According to the headmaster the auto teacher is the future of teaching, or was and that he is going to find it difficult to explain to the school governors why our class broke it, apparently it was rather expensive.

OOoooooo yes I have helped the Ghost Writer fix a printer tonight while he walks about in his new coat looking posh, well when I say fix . . . . . . . . . . AH damn it reminds me of today’s teacher a bit.



  1. I have spent two days looking for my brown leather jacket. I finaLLy found it when I got home. But my wife doesn't know that I found it at home ( buried under stuff when I cleaned off the bed of the guest bedroom on Saturday) and she stiLL thinks that it is most likely at the Mexican food restaurant that I had lunch on Friday because I had searched several places for it, including two other restaurants on the way to AmariLLo earlier in the day. I tried caLLing the Mexican restaurant, then suddenly remembered that they are closed on Mondays. So now I am wondering if I should take my jacket there tomorrow when they open so that my wife can be correct in her guess.

    1. That sounds good to me because then your Jacket will exist in two realities where it will have spent a short period of time in two different places, not many jackets can do that.

      But it would mean that you and your wife would have a very slightly diffident view of your jacket in the reality that you both exist in. But then you must decide if that is important, although the jacket itself will be happy with either option.

  2. If a tree fell in a wood there is always going to be something there to hear it. They would just process the information differently.

  3. I have heard of this notion that we are all in the matrix or some such computer program but i don't beleive it, mainly because every computer I know always crashes just as I'm about to do something important. Seeing as how all the important things that happen in my life so far have not caused me to re-boot or turn everything off and on again, I can safely say we DO NOT live in a computer... well my computer anyway.