Once upon a time there was once an elderly
couple who lived in the woods in a house made of gingerbread that three pigs
tried to eat. The elderly couple called Jack and Jill hired a hit man to deal
with the three pigs; they had heard of someone called The Jackal so they phoned
their friend Edward the Fox he knew about stuff like that. Anyway Edward the
Fox said The Jackal was very expensive to hire and quite frankly made a bit of
a mess of his last big job. So the couple hired Mr Fox instead and he huffed
and puffed and blew them up with high explosives (that’s the pigs not the
elderly couple) and they all lived on pork scratching for months.
The couple were called Professor and Mrs
Frankenstein they had moved to the woods after a bit of bother back at the
research lab where attempts to make his own home help, had got the professor in
a lot of trouble. However they still
needed some help so the professor turned to robotics instead, and made a small
golden home help robot which he called Rapunzel because it
used a bio-combustion system that ran on the rare Rapunzel plant sometimes know
as rampion. Unfortunately the only place this grew was in a walled
garden belonging a grumpy
old Dame called Dame Gothel, who was so grumpy all her maids had left and she
was forced to clean and cook for herself; enough to make anyone grumpy.
Ooooooo by the way this is my English fairy
tale for the term in case you are wondering
Each night the professor would sneak into
the garden to collect fuel for the robot until he was caught one night by Dame
Gothel who said she wanted the robot or she would send the food hygiene
department round to condemn the gingerbread house. End of part one
PART TWO
Rapunzel was then forced
to clean this huge castle which she did for years and years but Dame Gothel was
not good to Rapunzel and never did any maintenance on the little robot who then
started to go wrong with wires and things trailing along behind which in turn
kept tripping up Dame Gothel. In the end
the grumpy Dame thought I have had enough of this and stuck the robot into a
high tower with no doors and just a window, telling the robot she was going to
get agency help in instead.
So the little robot was
condemned to go round and round the room for ever with more and more wires and
stuff trailing behind her; in the end there was so much the little robot threw
the whole lot out of the window. The
next thing is a face at the window that had climbed up all the wires, cables
and stuff saying ‘I am the terminator
little robot’, and the little robot said you sound just like that Arnold Schwarzenegger. And they ran off into the wood where The
terminator accidently destroys the gingerbread house, and as it happens most of
the nearby village, who think that Professor Frankenstein has been messing
about with science again so arrive with fiery torches planning to burn down the
gingerbread house. But Mrs Frankenstein is one sharp cookie (all that time
living in a gingerbread house HAH HAHAHHHAH HHAHAHHHH HAHAHa). She dresses up
as the grumpy Dame Gothel and says they
are all in the castle burn down the castle which they do (the villagers
do) and everyone lives happily ever after on gingerbread crumble.
Almost everybody because
at night a howling Zombie Biology teacher is said to walk through the woods
chewing litmus paper.
The English teacher said
IDIOT
.
I read your blog title and thought of the monster of Dr Frankenstein, and thought that the monster is veRy stern, so I think it would be okay to rename the monster Frank-and-Stern. Now, off to make coffee this morning after a night of veRy little sleep, then begin reading your blog post ...
ReplyDeleteA most eXceLLent story, now that is definitely something to be turned into a feature length movie but I think it is too good for Mr Steven Spielberg who seems to be ignoring your requests. If you decide to use any robots or maybe a dummy to play the part of Arnold because he is eXpensive, you could design a dummy using a Computer Aided Design program (CAD), and then you might win an a CAD dummy award! Hahahahahaha burped coffee, sorry, more haahaahaahaa.
ReplyDelete'an a CAD dummy award!'...... HAH HAHAH HHAh hahhahah hahh hah hah ah hhaha ......well thought of Mr ESB.
DeleteAnd yes Mr Steven Spielberg does seem to be ignoring my requests although to be fair I have not really tried too hard, lets face it I think he has to find me rather than the other way round because he must be contacted by thousands of people a week with a script.
I am quiet happy to let him have any ideas quiet cheap too. After all my mind is full of stuff like this all the time, and it would be nice to see something reach a larger audience than the handful it does at present or in this case just you and me.
Having said that your comment 'A most eXceLLent story' is most satisfying and worth loads of Mr Spielberg's money, although if he was to say it too would be nice......