Friday 1 June 2012

On Top of the World and the strange minds of cows




I have been back on the roof again this afternoon but in order to take my mind of the fact I was on the ridge of the roof I decided to do one of my famous film re-enactments. So I was pretending to be James Cagney in White Heat, mum said IDIOT and the dog rushed off to get his AK47 machine gun which he keeps for emergencies. To tell the truth I think he spends too much time with Mr Jones in the woods looking for aliens. And it is not ideal to greet aliens with an AK47,  Although there is no denying it is what is likely to happen, well that and Mr Jones offering his body for experimentation yet again.



Where was I? Ah yes on the ridge of the roof fitting mums new all singing and dancing shortwave high gain aerial, as favoured by all leading spies, but as always this is secret I and I am not allowed to mention it………… AH, I did………. DAM.  

For some reason it is not working correctly, and so I will have to return to the roof tomorrow to see what the problem is. I think being shot at by a dog with a machine gun does not help one bit so I will need to find a different film to re-enact, the dog has suggested King Kong again but as I have pointed out King Kong gets shot at again by guns. That might explain why the dog is smiling, so I need to think of a film by tomorrow or I will be trying to fix the aerial problem in a gorilla suit while being shot at, and probably waving union jack flags at passing cows as part of this jubilee thing.




I mention passing cows because we have new neighbours. A herd of dairy cows who have moved into the field next to us, now that the silage is cut and gone to where silage goes? Sadly I may know about spies, double agents, aliens, monsters and vampires but I have very little knowledge of cows. Yes they eat grass and produce milk, and poo a great deal, but when it comes right down to it what are they thinking. I saw them looking at me on the roof this afternoon and then looking at one another as I ran up and down ducking and diving to avoid being shot by a dog with an AK47.  But not once did they reveal what they were really thinking, mum has just said IDIOT but I think cows are quite clever myself, mum obviously does not agree because she has just said IDIOT again.   

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8 comments:

  1. Amazing dog..AK47. My cat sometimes looks like she would like to have an AK47 to take out the yellow cat she sees through the window.

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  2. Your very first picture of the James Cagney breed of cow made me wonder, is this a milk cow, meat cow, or religious sacred cow? So I thought about it for several billion nanoseconds and reelized that the James Cagney cow is usaLLy spotted in movies, the old fashioned kind before DVD and Blu Ray that were on reels of film, so that would make the Cagney cow a reeligious kind of spotted cow. This partiaLLy eXplains Bollywood, but doesn't eXplain why no one has ever used the term "Bollywoodland", because I think Hollywood was Hollywoodland back in the original days when the first herd of James Cagney cow roamed.

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    1. The Bollywoodland would be a wood with Bolly trees, as far as I can see the only bolly tree is the bolly gum tree of Australia and in Australia they often greet people and animals by saying G-day mate. With time the G-day could easily morph into Gaday then Gaddney and finally Cagney, so the Cagney Cow originated in Australia the home of the billycan. And as we all know old reels of film are kept in cans and then there is the Cannes Film Festival in Cannes....

      And Australia is also the home of the famous Blu ray, which lives on the Great Barrier Reef and its favourite diet is the now rare James Sea Cow.

      It all just goes to show what a strange world it is....

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    2. I watched a new old movie last night. It was Hugo. My wife said that it gave her strange dreams.

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  3. Beware of cows, I have been chased by mobs of them on more than one occasion. Fortunately I can accelerate much quicker than they can.

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    1. Cows can be quick too so you are damn fit to escape

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