Tuesday, 5 June 2012

The Queen and Elvis and Aliens from Venus


Today has been the local village /hamlet Queens Jubilee party and it all appeared to go well, we have been involved in its organisation to some degree as I had agreed to create a name the royal competition and mum had agreed to judge the make a crown competition. I thought I might win the crown competition what with mum judging and the fact that I had bribed her with some pocket money (about five thousand pounds). Plus I had made a crown based on a Russian Imperial crown (what with mum being a secret Russian spy) and I am if I say so myself rather good at making things like this. But no, nothing not even a third place in the crowns based on the monarchs of other nations of which there were three entries. It appears mum was being fair and unbiased and therefore could not award me a prize but thanked me for the five thousand pounds……. NOT FAIR. 

The name the royal competition was a great success several people said they thought it was very good but did wonder why Elvis was included. Some people even asked me if Elvis was related to the Queen, and I had to point out that Elvis was the King. Luckily most people already knew that Elvis was the King, although someone asked when Elvis was King and had never seen his picture on any coins, and one person thought Elvis was Prince Edward?. I’m glad that I did not include BB King, king Crimson or King Kong or things might have got very confusing indeed, and imagine the embarrassment of confusing King Kong and Camilla; anyway only one person got all twenty five right and won a giant chocolate bar.

I’m sure it is tonight the shadow of Venus crosses the moon and can be seen from earth, or would be seen from earth was it not for the fact that in Britain we are now back with the classic and traditional grey summer sky. According to the dog it is tonight that the Strange Alien Mushroom Creatures from Venus should all start eating humans, as this shadow is a sign. But of course with all the best plans of aliens some small detail scuppers the plan and the British weather has saved the day as they will not see this (nor will we sadly). And it will be nearly another two hundred years or so until it happens again so I think the Aliens from Venus will be thinking………….AH, and the great Alien mother of Venus will say IDIOT

.

8 comments:

  1. So sorry to hear that you didn't win the crown competition. If I was present, I would have exclaimed "FIX!"

    Spawn and I are off out in a few minutes, to catch Venus crossing the moon. We may fail in our endevours however, as it looks like we don't have a big enough net.

    This catching planets lark, is proving to be a bit more difficult than I had anticipated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Miss Lily if you miss the moon it appears that the shadow of Venus will be crossing the sun at abour 5:15am in the morning so good luck.

      Delete
  2. F0r every0ne wh0 lives 0n the sun, it wiLL appear that Venus is passing in fr0nt 0f the earth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it is time to rename the sun it has been called that a long time, we know it will turn into a red giant or is it a red dwarf. So we could name it the yellow and slowly change its name as it gets redder. On the other hand I am talking rabbish (rabbish?) sorry rubbish and we are about to go out to the Bishops Castle to get milk and provisions to sustain sustenance.

      Delete
    2. After I wrote the Sun-Venus-Earth statement about "every0ne" who lived on the Sun, I realized that I was mathematicaLLy incorrect. When its a little-little-big perspective looking at Venus from Earth then the Sun is large enough to be the background, but the Sun is large enough in the big-little-little perspective that you would have to be at just the right spot on the surface of the Sun in order to see Venus and the Earth line up directly on top of each other.

      Delete
    3. That is true but then those who live on the Sun (the Suntanians?) probably don't care about this minor error. I made several errors about Venus but as long as I don't point it out I might get away with it..........AH, DAMN

      Delete
  3. Condolences on crown competition. Unfair. As for Royalty competition...Elvis, good call. I watched some of the Royal Concert..With Paul McCartney..as I was at the gym. Good Show England!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do think Paul McCartney should retire and stop trying to emulate his glory days before his voice totally packs it in.

      Sadly giving up the media hype is rather difficult for so many, I of course do not include myself in this statement.

      Delete