Friday, 25 April 2014

The Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society

The Greatest A to Z  
Aardvark based Nonsense Poetry in the World 

O dear said OSCAR as he dropped his pet OTTER
Into an ORIFICE made by a notorious Rotter
And although he tried to entice it with OCTOPUS livers 
It escaped OFF . . . . into the rivers
Because as we know
OTTERS are Tarka’s and not really givers.

(Tarka’s . . . .  Takers) HAH HAHAH AHH Ahah h hah ah ah hah h a hha ha ha haha ha ha ha.

It can sing the Star Spangled Banner and impersonate the late Thora Hird
And if feeling PECKISH or can't think of the right word
It PRETENDS it’s the aardvark from Shakespeare’s play

Richard the Third.

If you stand  . . . . . 
in a QUEUE . . . . . . . 
with a Gnu . . . . . . .
People will QUIETLY whisper . . . . . . .  
in a QUADRANGLE . . .  or two  . . 
Or QUIVER with fear and shout loudly. 
AuuuuuugggghhhhHH Shoo
Or throw bits of Aardvark . . . . . .  At the Smiling Gnu

And maybe at you.

Past a ROTUND RABBIT and a small bald RETIRED man
And as he passed a ROASTER that made a strange sound just like a bark.
He lost his concentration and tripped over an Aardvark. 

 . . . . . SIDEWALK

In the dark where man and beast get eaten by a grumpy old  
 . . . . .  Night Hawk

And little dogs run about and annoy pedestrians with their
 . . . . Barks

And every one will run and hide with the arrival of . . . . . . . . .

(Huge indomitable and fearsome man eating) 

 . . . . Aardvarks.

In the TINY TOWNS in  . . . . . .  
Is a beast THAT drives THE population mad 
And has become a world compulsive mania?
With is sharp pointy TEETH . . . . . . 
Sucking blood in THE dark
Everyone lives in fear of 
THE Vampire Aardvark.

You will find some UGLY fish

Who think that they are bats 
Rather than a battered dish.

They think they are being clever 
Hiding from the multitude of sharks

But hiding in UMBRELLAS 
Means they will be eaten by

There have been a veritable multitude of beasts
 in the vision of my verse.

But some will think my nonsense poetry
is rather more a curse.
And most will say it is poetry, 
which is full of  . . . . . . . . Impropriety.

Well everyone . . . .  with one exception . . . . . . . . . . . .

The Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society


  1. Hey Mr. R.,

    Yes, I'm here today. Thank heavens the amazing alphabet challenge is nearly over. I feel terrible not keeping up with all of you doing something I detest. Such weird irony.

    The Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society and you have to be the resident president.

    Your alliteration pleases the nation. Your poetry is not a curse. It could be worse :)

    Be well, good sir.


    1. I could do a few extra letters for you if you like Mr G I dont mind. . . . As it happens I tend to find a lot of folk suddenly vanish after we reach Z for a while and that is rather annoying. . . .

      The Aardvark Appreciation Society is open to all, they need all the members they can get.

  2. I hope all the loose ends are tied up with these last few letters/poems. Otherwise, I'll be as disappointed as I was by the show Lost. Don't do that to me.

    1. AH . . . . . . . . DAMN ..... I will mmmmmmm go and rewrite everything......NO its OK it will only take the rest of the day and maybe all night, but I dont mind if my fingers bleed a bit and I go mad it is important not to disappoint folk . . . .

  3. I like and or love your selection of Welsh Aardvark Appreciation Society Poetry, or WAASP, whiich could be the aanimal for W.

    1. There are a few strange shaped and sounding letters of the Russian alphabet if you wanted to do a few of them. I think the letter Д kinda even looks like an aardvark, and it probably occurs in the Russian spelling, let me check .... Nope, I guessed wrong, their word is трубкозуб which just like the repeating ar in English aardvark, the Russian has a repeating уб, so I think it sounds like troob-kah-zoob, which has got to be one of the coolest sounding aanimal words in Russian.

    2. I think if President Putin gets a little carried away in Ukraine and sort of keeps heading west, learning Russian might be useful if I need to buy a troob-kah-zoob pie.

    3. When I try to visualize Russian words I usually use Cyrillic instead English phonetic spellings. I just noticed that today when I was trying to remember if it was тубкозуб or трубкозуб or тубкозруб or трубкозруб. I just remembered that it is "true" "cause" the aardvark lives in a "zoo" and it probably takes at least a "roob"le to see him, so трубкозуб.

    4. You are very clever Mr ESB, I will go and lie down now. . . . . . .

    5. Hahahahaha - I somehow made you sleepy. I wonder if I am a hypnotist? I am probably closer to being cross of a hippie and a hipster.

    6. Ha! I just now noticed the mouse in the picture on his head.

  4. Man that was a snappy rhyme. It just rolls of the tongue. Maybe I'm Welsh. That's probably it.

    1. I suspect McFliperson is more Scottish . . . . .

      What's that you say Flipper, a small child has fallen down the mine shaft . . . .

      AH DAMN wrong animal, wrong show, wrong name, and wrong country. . . . OK I admit it, it is wrong big time, totally wrong, I know I know but it was a long time ago and I getting old and a bit mad . . .MADDDD HAH HA Hah ah ah ah ah ah ah h hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hAH AHAHAH HAH HA HAH AH HA HAH HAHAHH AHHAH AH

      OK very MAD.

  5. Definitely not a curse. What's the opposite of a curse? It's that.

    1. Damn that is a hard question Miss Laura.

      The opposite of a curse it appears would be a blessing . . . . PHEW sorted but I am not entirely sure that this is a good description of my poetry. It is more like Vogon Poetry