Saturday, 12 April 2014
Kats and other stuff . . . . . .AH DAMN
The Greatest A to Z
Aardvark based Nonsense Poetry in the World
So through the ALPHABET . . . . . .I will play
Starting right here . . . here with the letter A
AND a rather silly nonsense poem, to end the day.
So to the distant sound of a mad dogs bark.
I’ll start AT the start with thee AARDVARK.
The BEE and the BEAR met a BEAVER
Who looked rather aggressive with a large meat cleaver?
He shouted be gone, BACK off, and leave me BE
I’m BUSY chopping down, this BIG tree.
So the BEE he BUZZED and the BEAR he growled
And a BANSHEE somewhere BEHIND them howled
And that then made the mad dog BARK
Then what turned up BUT another Aardvark
Here we are by the C
All blue and wavy and a little wet maybe
With CATERPILLARS CUTE and CUDL-EEE. . . (No its not CHEATING)
And we all run about on the COUNT of three.
As CRABS and CATFISH play in the bay
Or so the gnarled old Seadogs do say
But Seadogs are mad and tend to bark
Arousing the monstrous Sea Aardvark
DID the DODO DIE out or was it a DECEPTION
To avoid meeting Great DANES at a posh reception
Because all they do is shout and bark
So is the DODO now DISGUISED as a smallish Aardvark
And does your DOG get up with the lark
And chase sticks about in the park
And is it mad and tend to Bark
Annoying the park keepers trusty old and loyal Aardvark
When an ELEPHANT meets an ELECTRIC EEL
There is bound to be a noisy squeal
As one beast gets squashed by the others heel
And . . . . . . . (slight pause and wait)
Creates a huge ten thousand volt Arc
Which is the sort of voltage that will make a dog bark
Or light up they EYES of an adult Aardvark.
Out in the deserts of his favourite park.
They say it’s the FAULT of the barking dog
That made the FROGS FLEE into the FOG
And made the FISHERMEN turn to grog
While FLYING FISH FLUTTER over a FLOATING log
The constant sound of mad dogs Barks
Results in the thundering hoofs of stampeding Aardvarks
Always look closely at an F or G
Just in case it should be the image of thee
With a sacrifice of GOAT and toasted GHEE
While witch doctors dance round . . . . . . the sacred tree.
Shaking GOURDS . . . . . . . and GRANNIES old Knee
And it’s good to know if GHOULS creep about in the dark(zzzzzzzz)
Your faithful dog always loudly barks
Alerting a flock of man eating Aardvarks
Who will eat the GHOULS just for larks
HENRY is having a long chat with HORRIS
Because HAROLD has chopped off the HEAD of Boris
And all because he was naughty with
Doris’s dog has a terrible bark
Which HAROLD would wind up just for a lark
Then strangely one night while out in the dark
An ironic twist occurred near the pond in the park
When HAROLD HAD HIS HEAD chewed off by a large aardvark
. . . . . . . . . . called HENRY
There once was an INVISIBLE IMAGINARY IMP
Who rode through the ocean on an INTERESTING INDIGO shrimp
I think. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Said an Aardvark
IN a sink
JACK and JILL when to JAIL
For stealing JEWELS from the Royal Mail
Which made their little dog start to bark
But it was chased away by the JAILER’S Aardvark.
The King was Kalled because his Kat was Killed
Katching kippers with a jug it filled.
Full of toast and cheese and well known Chinese remarks.
And the ancient claws of ceremonial Aardvarks