Friday, 14 June 2013

Particle Physics and Poetry

I don’t mind a day of Particle Physics at school it is an easy way to pass the time as we scratch are heads and point at particles of various types, although Freddie reckons that ferrets can see antimatter, which is why they are such good hunters. Anyway there we were pottering about doing stuff with the atomic accelerator and a few particles that Esmeralda had found under a floorboard she had managed to remove in the interests of scientific research when the teacher decided to have a little change of subject to test our abilities in diverse rational functioning, something apparently we might have to do in the future at some point. So we had to write well known poetry from memory. Luckily we were working in groups so me, Freddie and Esmeralda worked together and I did a bit of a rush drawing for a poem that Esmeralda knew, well she said she knew but I think her and Freddie got a bit confused.

The Owlicat and the caterpillar went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat
But the Owlicat squashed his mate
With the foot of a runcible goat.
And off in the distance far away
Where the Owlicat will get to soon
A little dog laughed because he saw
A cow jump over the Moon.

The End

The teacher said it was the worst poem he had ever read and was the work of IDIOTS but luckily our particle Physics might get us a Nobel Prize, Well it would have if Esmeralda had not set fire to our experiment in revenge for the teacher insulting her poetry. And Unfortunately Freddie says the ferrets are unlikely to help us again to recreate our particle experiment as they did not get any recognition for their part of the particle experiment involving antimatter.

Ooooo yes Miss I gave the Ghost Writer a present full of sea monsters today, he is very pleased but is unsure about what to feed the sea monsters, I will have to Google that or ask the chaps at GCHQ who are monitoring my diary………. (Any ideas Charles and Quentin).



  1. I was planning to have my left eye replaced with a ferret eye, and so now you have convinced me to proceed. If one eye detects matter and the other detects matter. So I was wondering if having two images (left and right) going on at the same, and an anti matter image combines combines with matter, will that make a nuclear explosion in you mind?

    1. Sorry, that should have been one eye sees antimatter and the other sees matter. I guess I am not at the proper adjustment for thinking in terms of halfferretness.

    2. Its OK Mr ESB we are make errors but it does not antimatter . . . . . . . . HAHH HAHAHH ahh ah ha hah ah h hah hha hah ahhah ah hahah ha hah hah ahhah ha ha

      I think the two images would in fact cancel each other out completely and you would be left with an image of anything that is not formed from matter, so Gods legends and Sea Monsters spring to mind.

    3. I went off in search of a similar sounding poeM by Edward Lear. The web page eXplain runcible as a combination of a fork, spoon and knife as a single utensil, and I thought, "I must have at least one million of those!" Okay, one wiLL do. But then I noticed that you caLLed a goat as runcible. I am not a goat eXpert so I wiLL have to ask my father-in-law "Say, how is a goat like a fork-knife-spoon?" (As he would neVer understand the word 'runcible') i asked him on Thursday if he had ever butchered any of his goats and it was like a foreign concept to him to ever do such a thing. He also told me that you could make alot of money with goats, but he couldn't eXplain how as most of his herd was recently massacred by pit bull dogs, eXcept for the few goats that had been asleep with his rottweiller dogs. There was a gate that prevented the rottweillers from saving the day, so I expect that his rottweillers were grief stricken as weLL.

      It finaLLy rained here a significant amount last night although I never heard anything. Cooper and I just came in from puLLing the grass in the vineyard and doing some mulching. Hope you are having a lovely Saturday, I am off to deliver gumbo.

  2. Are you sure they were sea monsters? Are you sure they aren't sea monkeys? I made that mistake once and, well, became the laughing stock of the playground when I bought "the kraken" in for show and tell.

    1. Mr Addman it could have been so much worse just image what the response would have been like if you had turned up with The Krankies . . . .

  3. I've always been confused by the owl and the pussycat poem.

    Cats are well known for not liking the water and owls are famous for flying and have very little need for boats so why were they at sea in the first place?
    It reeks of a conspiracy to me.
    I think they were on the run for the murder of a field mouse and or the farmers prize prize rabbit.
    animal instincts had taken them over in frenzied fit of blood lust and they both set upon the poor creature... blood and fur everywhere.
    they quickly came to their senses and fled oversea to a country without an extradition order like that guy in Hong Kong who told all those secrets about secrets or something.

    It's all very suspicious behaviour which ever way you look at it.

    Don't trust cats or owls.

    1. I would never trust a cat or an owl and I suspect the security forces are working even as I type to find out what they are up too. Harder than you might think as the critters keep eating their bugging devices. Its their own fault for making them Shrew shaped.

      Was it the guy in Hong Kong or the guy in King Kong Mr H?