Thursday, 23 August 2012

James Bond and the Toad, a Glider and the Paralympics.

As many of you know my diary is written as a manuscript for that very nice Steven Spielberg to read and go Oooooooooooo that would make a good movie, admittedly a rather long movie these days (or alternatively Quick get an injunction that Rob Z Tobor is sending me that bloody manuscript again).  Book One started on the 15th August 2010 and finished on 4th Sep 2011 and ran to 161,000 words. Book Two started on the 5th Sep 2011 and will end in the first week of Sep 2012 and is presently 148, 000 words long.  So I have been writing this for two years now. My plan was too outlive that silly Harry Potter but to do that I will need to be pottering about (pottering …..HAH HAHAHH HAHH hahhah hah ah hah ah hah hah ahh ah hahah hhah ahhah hah ) for about four more years so that will be about 1,000,000 words in total.

I am not sure what Mr Steven Spielberg is going to say if he ends up with the whole 1,000,000 words in one go, it might break his desk, especially if it is all on posh paper (I insist on posh paper). Anyway it is good to know I have officially passed 300,000 words now. This does not include all the comments of my colleagues in cyberspace in my various outlets; that would add at least another 50,000 words to it….. and you would all want your cut of the royalties (that’s nothing so far so PHEW?)

OK right back to today……….. So today I found a toad he was only a small toad and did not respond to a single command and refused to talk to me or the dog, he just looked at us in a sort of toad way. Then we saw a glider being towed by a small plane, the people in the glider do not respond to us either they just looked at us in a towed way too………. Towed Way Too, sounds like a villain in a Kung foo or Bond movie ‘So Mr Bond you will be put in the tank of toads and they will eat you alive HAH HAHHAH HAH HHAH HAH HHAH HAHH HAHAHHHAHHAH HAHH HHAHA hah hahh hah hah hah hah hahahh ha…….. Your glider has been toWed away HAH HAH ah hah hah hah hah hah hahh haha hah ha’

I also had yet another bonfire, as and when Mr Spielberg finally gets round to making the movie one thing in abundance will be large bonfires.

That reminds me four bonfires were lit last night for the Paralympics  on the four highest peaks of the UK in the rain, I don’t wish to rubbish the start but they were not the best of bonfires I wish they had told me I would have given them a real bonfire to get things going. I have also notice they only get silver Olympic torches not gold, now come that’s not fair.

I am looking forward to the Paralympics, lets face it is easy to run fast when you have all your limbs and they work properly, doing it with bits missing or crumpled takes real guts….  



  1. I would love to have a go in a glider. The moment where the tow is released and you go soaring through the air on your own, must be amazing. Unfortunately for me, if I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all and would probably be the 1 out of 10% that would go plummeting to my death.

    As for Mr Spielberg, he loves a challenge. He made a film with a horse for goodness sake. 1,000,000 words would be like reading 'Peter and Jane' for him.

    1. I have never been a fan of being in the air so sitting in a thing that when on the ground can hardly support its own wings and has no engine is a no no.....

      Yes Mr Spielberg was tricked by those horses, He was taken for a ride and made to jump over all sorts of hurdles just for a few sugar lumps....

      Are you sure my diary is like Peter and Jane..................AH..... DAMN

  2. Speaking of gliders, I just read about Boeing having some Qantas trouble with 787's, I think those two things are slightly related, but I am tired.

    1. A Boeing 787 has bigger wings than a glider but I am not sure if it will glide. Interestingly a brick has no wings but does glide more like a Boeing 787 than a glider does.

      If the Wright brothers had been called the Wrong brothers things would be very different today. No one wants to get into a aeroplane made by the wrong brothers

  3. Peter and Jane on acid perhaps.
    But no, what I meant was, 1,000,000 words would be no problem for him to read. I'd love to see the casting procedure for the film of Rob Z Tobor. It would be utter chaos. :D

    1. Or Peter Paul and Mary on Acid......

      I am glad you feel that Mr Steven Spielberg will have no problem with reading 1,000,000 words written by Rob Z Tobor.

      I think I would need to be involved in the casting, after all you know what these Americans are like.... I think it needs to be quintessentially a British film or it will not work, Although I think Rob (me) should be played by Robert Mitchum or Basil Rathbone. No hang on maybe dad should be played by Basil Rathbone.... AH I think you are right it will be Chaos. I may have to write a post about this and sort it out in advance.