Sunday, 6 May 2012
The Aliens and the lumberjack
I have been outside today in the sun being a lumberjack. The first odd thing about this is the obvious one, there is the word sun included in that sentence. Yes its bank holiday Sunday and sunny, very odd particularly as all the weather men on the wireless told us it was due to rain loads and the sun is not due until possibly August. The second odd thing about this is as mum points out is I am a child and I am outside in the sun doing things, when I should be attached to a games consol killing aliens like normal children.
As it happens I don’t have any games consoles and if I want to kill aliens I’m sure there are plenty in the woods. Mr Jones says there are loads of aliens in the woods and he has been abducted several times and prodded with probes, mum says Mr Jones is an IDIOT which is odd because why would aliens abduct an idiot rather than a genius. But then maybe they don’t know he is an idiot and think he is a genius. I have suggested that to mum but she says that if the Aliens think Mr Jones is a genius then they are IDIOTS. Still they say there is a fine line between being a genius and being an idiot, so me and the dog are planning to investigate the woods tomorrow for fine lines. Assuming it is another hot day as the weather men on the wireless still insist it will rain all day.
I have learnt something very interesting today about lumberjacks. I have never been a lumberjack before (OK I might have, I cant remember we are talking nearly 300,000 words now). But it does not mean to lumber, as in chop up Jack with an axe and a chain saw…………AH.
Me and the dog luckily had plenty of super glue, and I am good at building cardboard robots out of an assortment of bits. I’m sure it didn’t help that the dog spent a while chewing his arm before mum shouted at us. Jack has run off (Limped) home now and seems fine (ish) well sort of. Although Jack was like those IKEA flat pack kits you get, there is always something left over that you don’t know where it goes. The dog says he will have it for his evening meal with a glass of wine and maybe some lamb.