T is for Terrible Poetry. . . .

Well here we are again as I stumble towards Z is a confused and quietly unremarkable way. Still I will say that one good thing is that the arrival of the A to Z has had me think I must try and write a few new posts for the blog. But then all that making stuff including a somewhat odd summerhouse for the Shed of the Year competition means I am still very busy. I have already missed the entry closing date for this year, that is sometime in May but I will never be finished in time. I still have two towers to make and the interior to insulate and board out and then I need to paint it all both in and out.  

 Todays letter is T and so I have decided that T stands for terrible poetry, if there is one thing I am good at it is Totally Terrible Poetry so here is some for you to enjoy . . . or Not 

Terrible Poetry

I made myself a Viking mate

Out of branches and some planks of wood

He had a Viking helmet with horns and stuff

And looked really really really good

Then at night I left him outside the gates

Of a delivery company called Parcel Force

But in the morning he was gone

Because my wooden mate

As I'm sure you have guessed

Was a Trojan Norse

Which is why he’s gone of course

Like the horse

More Terrible poetry

I have not thought of any poetry TODAY

So I will have to try and amuse folk

In some other WAY

Like telling how I confused a chicken with a CANNONBALL

Which I bounced at it along the HALL

Or how I skied up a very steep HILL

Using jet powered skis

Made with my trusty

Electric DRILL

You see I am rather good at making STUFF

Although folk laugh and point

Because they say it is

Wonky and incredibly ROUGH

But when I'm wealthy

With my name in Bright LIGHTS

And have a posh dog that

Growls and BITES

Folk will not laugh at me THEN

As Fang the dog eats their HEN

I think it’s the one I threw the cannonball AT

The cannonball that accidently

Squashed the CAT

Yes OK squashing cats is a

Bad thing to DO

But then so is Flushing a tortoise

Down the LOO

No, no I didn’t do that

That was JIM

He says Tortoises are

A bit GRIM

And Now I appear to have lost the PLOT

As this poetry has things in it

It should NOT

So I better go as its getting DARK

And it is time to chase Owls about

In the PARK

And put Slugs in the JELLY

Its OK they are still alive I’m not that nasty
Just SMELLY

Please Note . . . . .

No animals were hurt in the writing of this Poetry

But I have finished Now SO

HAH HAH HAH HAH HA ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ha ha ha hah ah ah ha ha ha hah ah a ah ah ha hah ah ah hahha ha hha ha haha hah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah ah ah ah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Time to GO





Terrible Poetry that is more terrible than the previous 
Terrible Poetry 

The pitter patter of tiny FEET

Upon the cold, dark and wet scary STREET

Might be a Witch or a ZOM . . .BEEEEEE

Or the invisible man; who you never SEE

Or it might be a Werewolf who will loudly HOWL

Or something scarier on the PROWL

Or a Mummy from an Egyptian TOMB

Or the Great Winged Dragon of Ultimate DOOM

Or a tiny Goblin with a pointy KNIFE

Or that Count Dracula’s demonic bloodthirsty WIFE

Or it might be a Cat that is ten feet TALL

Or a Banshee with its terrible CALL

Or Uncle Jim drunk staggering home

Or a homemade monster made with bits of spare flesh and bone

Or a Ghost wearing steel toecap BOOTS

Or a Triffid scurrying on its horrible ROOTS

Or the Sandman carrying a Gladstone BAG

Or Rumblestilskin or a Psychotic HAG

Or a mad Goat that has eaten too much TOAST

Or the Haunted Hog that was once a ROAST

But one things for sure as you increase your PACE

Its cold clammy hand

Will wrap round your FACE

And its Vampire’s teeth will bite your NECK

If you try to turn just to CHECK

Surely you can’t be the victim of such an evil CURSE

Although it could be

Something

Even

WORSE