Poetry in the style of Nostradamus, Predicting the Events of 2016

I have decided to predict the future today

Like that Nostradamus

But in a sneaky Poetic way

Which means the year ahead?

Has to rhyme or

The said event will not happen this time

So I predict deep crisp Snow

And lots of wind that will blow

And a plague of Frogs in IKEA

Where stampeding customers

Will run about in great fear

And a man eating tortoise on a bus . . . (not a man eating a tortoise)

With the bus driver shouting

 Please DO not make a fuss

And the Queen will demand that

The Prime Minister David Cameron should go

After his naked romp on the stage

Of the new Harry Potter stage Show. .

And the Olympics should happen but will probably not

When it is discovered

The Rain Forest has been chopped down

When we were told because of global warming, 

It should NOT

And the British Astronaut will return

But will feel rather ill

As an Alien leaps from his stomach

And threatens to kill

And of course the fashion item of taste

Will be the string Vest

So a chap can display

The hairs on his Chest

And America will be shocked by Donold Trumps

Posh new Hair Do

Which he bought from a shop

And stuck on with glue

And President Putin will scare folk

With his latest Pink latex suit

And his high heeled stilettos

Which he will insist, are practical, but cute

And China will build a coal fired power station each day

And then wonder why the fog will not go Away

And a man will stand on a snail

Japan will eat a large whale

And fame and fortune will finally come my way

As I am hailed as the greatest

Internet poet of my day

Although within an hour or two

An infinite number of monkeys

Will be found in my cellar

Writing poetry in exchange for peanuts

And doing it

Remarkably Wel _ la . . .  (I think they are being Ironic there)

And finally a chap might press a large button that’s red

Leading to a distinct possibility

We could all end up

DEAD.

Happy 2016 everyone