As we enter the eve of Christmas Eve it is a time of Christmas carols and interesting stories about things that people do not know about , stories of great strangeness from all over the world, so as we start to panic that we have not wrapped any presents yet. I will retell (I know Christmas is also a time of repeats on TV and Blogs) of a certain tribe deep in the South American forest and how their ancestral song ended up as a Christmas carol.
It appears the tribe were cannibals, I know not nice, but these things happened back in the old days, and it is said by those who know that the tribe would attack other tribes and run off with the juicy ones and eat them in a big festival with roast chestnuts and hang their (the chaps becoming dinner) clothes above the open fire as they slowly roasted them on a large spit (OK YUCK).
As time passed European Missionaries arrived and said HANG ON THIS IS NOT NICE YOU CAN'T DO THAT so they (the tribe) tried eating the missionaries, but they tasted really very YUCK to the tribe. It was the high wheat diet of the Europeans, all that bread and hard ships biscuits, and it turned out the tribe was allergic to wheat, what with there being none in the jungle.
As time passed European Missionaries arrived and said HANG ON THIS IS NOT NICE YOU CAN'T DO THAT so they (the tribe) tried eating the missionaries, but they tasted really very YUCK to the tribe. It was the high wheat diet of the Europeans, all that bread and hard ships biscuits, and it turned out the tribe was allergic to wheat, what with there being none in the jungle.
Then on this very night (OK tomorrow night but its close) hundreds of years ago three kings from the east arrived who had followed a star, and they came bearing gifts having travelled over field and fountain, moor and mountain, following yonder star until they arrived in the deep forest. The tribe who now realized eating Europeans was a bad move said HELLO WHO ARE YOU THEN and the three Kings said WE'RE THREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE but due to a terrible error in translation it was translated into WHEAT FREE KINGS OF ORIENT ARE, and so on Christmas day all those hundreds of years ago the tribe had a delicious meal of three kings. Their (The Three Kings) ornate stockings, (Kings wear ornate stockings when travelling) . . . hanging in the branches above the fire, filled with the gifts that they brought with them.
The tribe wrote a song in celebration and as the kings were from the orient the song became a victim of Chinese Whispers and the rest as we tend to say is History.
Yes its a shock but Christmas is an old South American cannibal festival that has sort of gone wrong over time, which must be true or why on earth would we be expected to eat brussel sprouts.
Yes its a shock but Christmas is an old South American cannibal festival that has sort of gone wrong over time, which must be true or why on earth would we be expected to eat brussel sprouts.
Ah, it all makes sense now. But what are the origins of the carol, 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire?' I believe that the original lyrics were "Jeff's nuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your toes."
ReplyDeleteAny ideas?
Is it nipping at your toes or toeing at your.... no never mind - you were right the first time!
DeleteOoo that is very good Miss Lily I can see looking at Google+ that those Christmas Carols really got into your head. . . They do that. . . . . before you know it you will be humming Rolf Harris as he plays the little drummer boy on that stylophone thing of his . . . . OK maybe not
DeleteI for love a good "Russell Sprout" and shall be devouring a small mountain of them on Xmas day.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting that cannibals started the whole Xmas malarkey off as I often find that I end up chewing on my own knuckles trying not to tell everyone to "GETOUTOFMYHOUSE!" when I realise that somebody has eaten the last purple one in the selection box and put all the empty wrappers in!
This is why I come to this blog. I'm always learning!
I love those purple ones too Mr H (Ooooo I'm glad you are still about) I find if you put the empty wrappers in the box folk dont notice they are gone until its too late. . . . .HAH HAH hahah a hah ah ah ahah ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah
DeleteAH DAMN maybe I should not have said that.
YOU LIKE Brussel Sprouts . . . . I guess someone had too. You're an odd chap. . .
I think that it is interesting that even mistranslated it was stiLL correct, as I am pretty sure they were wheat-free. Unless they had a package of crackers in their pocket like I do sometimes. Of course mine are peanut butter filled crackers so that is double protect shun from cannibals.
ReplyDeleteIs that two crackers with peanut butter between them or something awesome unseen in Britain and a cracker with peanut butter inside the cracker. . . . Ooooooo I do hope its the second option I would be so impressed. I do like peanut butter . . .I have a jar of cashew nut butter to try next. . . . .YUM . .
DeleteIt is a package that contains 12 Ritz crackers, and each pair of crackers has peanut butter between them. Now, cashew nut butter sounds like one of the finest things possible. One of my favorite cookies is a Cashew Sandy made by the Keebler elves.
DeleteI finished the last of the peanut butter this morning so Christmas Day will see me starting the day with hot buttered toast covered in Cashew Nut Butter . . . . A grand way to start a day even better that listening to the Queens speech. I bet she hates doing that every year.
Delete