Interestingly so far, as
we approach the end of 2014 no one has mentioned the End of the World. This is
unusual as most years we are told that next year is going to be it (the End of
the World). I suspect folk are keeping their heads down about predicting this
because in recent years there have been several times where it has not actually
happened and there is nothing quite as humiliating as everyone looking at you
the next day like you are a complete idiot followed by anger as it dawns on
them that spending their life saving on a pet dolphin and a night in a posh
hotel in Blackpool was a bad idea.
So having subdued the
crackpot element of the End of the World prediction game we can look at the possibilities
with logic and a fair amount of rationality. You see one thing we know we can’t
say is . . . . The World will definitely
not End in 2015 . . . . So having
established it might End we need to look at the possibilities and assess the
risks.
1 Well it has been said that there is a
meteor due in 2015 that is rather large and may hit Earth . . . . We can see this as a high risk possibility so
50%
2 We know that the Super Volcano in North
America will at some point erupt, it is said by scientists that a Super Volcano
is overdue, so although the Yellowstone
Park one is not in theory
due to go bang it is a possibility and so is a known high risk maybe 25%
3 A complete failure of all electronic
devices due to a huge solar flare. This may not be the End of the World but it
would bring the End of the World as we know it. A solar flare large enough to
cause this would be rare but there is concern in science that the risk it may
occur is increasing. So let’s say 15%
4 A
terrible epidemic with no known cure will rapidly spread through the world’s
population and reduce numbers to a level where our lifestyle is unsustainable
and those left fight over the last tins of beans. . . . The risk is increasing,
antibiotics are not what they were and human travel makes it likely that once
something highly contagious got out of control it would be every man for himself
. . . risk maybe 5%
5 An as yet unknown force or series of
events that will result in the End of the World is always a possibility and
there are lots of them but in most cases unlikely so let’s say overall 4%
6 Aliens OK aliens are to many a very remote
possibility, but we all watch films and if there is one thing we know, it is they
are out to take over the planet so that would be the end for us. But lots of
folk say Aliens are rubbish so we will put the risk at 1%
7 Finally there are folk who are convinced
the End of the World will be Zombies. Yes I know it is very unlikely and people
say these are mad folk with loony ideas, but just in case I think we can assess
the risk at a very low 0.1% (even the strangest theories can sometimes occur.
Now each of these risks is
independent of the other so the overall risk that one of them may occur is
50+25+15+5+4+1+0.1 which equals 100.1%
In other words using good
scientific principles rather than some crackpot idea we can say with some
certainty that the risk that the End of the World will occur in 2015 is 100.1%
AH DAMN
I like them odds. I have my trusty 11-in-1 bespoke handheld pointy stick (patent pending) with me at all times. I'm not sure how handy it would be in the event of an epidemic (It's sharp, but not sharp enough to stab a germ) but in all other circumstances, I'll be able to cope.
ReplyDeleteBring it on I say, but not before I catch up on all my Xmas TV recordings!
I think you stand of fighting chance of surviving 2015 with the trusty 11-in-1 bespoke handheld pointy stick (patent pending). In fact it would make a good selling point. Folk will pay good to survive the apocalypse.
DeleteAs for TV I did enjoy the James May Toy Stories (Action Man Special) it was very amusing . . . well to me it was.
I have caught up on my TV (took about one hour) And am now enoying the fruits of my labours using wires and boxes and the TV.. it's top secret at the mo, but my actions of the past few months (which h have caused more than a dirty look or two from mrs H) are working out perfectly - and it's not often I can say that with a straight face.
DeleteI like stuff with wires . . . .I am old, and old school with wires is good. It was always a reassuring part of Bill and Ben.
DeleteOh, you added them together, I subtracted and added every other one, and then at the end multiplied by 0.1 then divided by a Factor Unknown Craziness Korean of 42.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like we are more likely to make it through the year that using my maths. But I am not entirely convinced you have used the correct method . . . .
DeleteI am absolutely sure that I agree with you.
DeleteSo, if its not The End of The World, it must be The Middle (?), so we are in ... The Middle Ages
DeleteIf some king from a 1000 years ago had three daughters and they accidentaLLy named aLL three Agnes, the 2nd daughter would be The Middle Agnes from The Middle Ages.
Of course the Middleton's were a well known family from the middle of the Middle Ages.
DeleteI think right in the middle of the Middle ages they also believed in the centaur. . . . . . HAH AHH AH HAha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h aha hah ah ah ah a ha hah
At the veRy center of a centaur u c a +.
DeleteIt does make sense that the Middletons were from the Middle Ages, as a ton is 2000 pounds and the middle of 2000 AD is 1000 AD.
DeleteI see the + . . . Ah and I see the Middle Ton . . . . . . . . I think we have gone into spy mode. Now what could this all mean to a spy
DeleteOnly one thing, own Lee won thing.
DeleteI'd love to be in the room the next day, after a the End Of Days has been prophesied and the world is still intact, with the leader in front of an angry crowd going, "well, that didn't quite turn out as I expected."
ReplyDeleteYes those Post End of the World Meeting never go well. But on the other hand the good news is Folk can do it all again at the next End of the World.
Delete