Saturday 29 November 2014

Aliens, Black Friday, 40 inch Televisions, Conspiracies and Professor Quatermass.



After many years it appears the so called Black Friday chaos finally arrived here in Britain yesterday, a place not used to Black Friday. And it has come to my notice thanks to the very informative Bumferry Hogart that all was not as it might appear from a distance. You see Mr Hogart or Mr H as we like to call him was brave enough to venture out into the wilds of sale land and found folk acting normally and even smiling. To those of us watching the news this was a shock as on the BBC news we got to watch massed crowds fighting in the playing fields of England . . . sorry I mean the aisles of Tesco as they fought to the last man over 40 inch television sets. This is interesting because (as I have already discussed with Mr H) a couple of years ago when the good folk of Britain in certain places (cities) rioted one of the main items targeted by the looters was 40 inch television sets.

In fact 40 inch television sets seem to have a strange effect on the public and the people who own them. So I have had to conclude from all the evidence that has been placed in front of me that the minds of man has been subconsciously manipulated by Aliens of a higher intelligence many millions of years ago to desire a 40 inch television.  Of course the Aliens have been waiting quietly for us to get to the stage where our own intelligence is good enough to develop the mass produced 40 inch Flat Screen Television. Which means mankind has now finally reached a point where we now sit and worship these 40 inch large shiny black monoliths in our living rooms. Now ask yourself does this remind you of something, a film maybe called . . . 2001 a Space Odyssey. 

You see these large black 40 inch screen technological devices are more than a simple television set they are the incubators of the dormant offspring of the Aliens who will at some point leap out of the screen and into the body and mind of the humans who have been sent into a comatose state by watching hours of talent shows and minor celebs doing stuff like dancing and eating armadillos or Dads Army. 

And once the humans have been assimilated and genetically realigned they will join the army of existing aliens who insist those of us who do not yet own 40 inch televisions should get one because it’s a must for every modern home. This way it is only a matter of time until we are all taken over and Mankind as we know it is changed forever becoming Aliens just like the ones you see on the TV. . . . . . .


I blame that Professor Quatermass. . . . 

12 comments:

  1. It is indeed a scary proposition.
    I reckon these aliens are called Aych Dees as I have seen the word "HD ready" written on a lot of these TV.

    In fact is TV short for Terrestrial Vehicle?

    The facts keep stacking up!

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    1. ndeed the more you think about this the more it seems entirely logical. I am just glad we dont have a 40 inch television here. . . . .PHEW. I am safe from the Aych Dees for the present but I am keeping a pointy stick to hand just in case.

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  2. "The minds of man has been subconsciously manipulated by Aliens of a higher intelligence many millions of years ago to desire a 40 inch television." Yeah, that seems like the most logical explanation.
    I only have a computer screen, why have I not been chosen by the aliens to seek out a 40 inch television? Am I not worthy, future and present alien overlords?Make me want to punch my fellow citizens in the face to save five percent on a television, I beg you!

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    1. No you really don't want to be chasing those large TV's. You will be a much nicer person watching that computer screen and reading my blog. . . .

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  3. I was thinking about getting a 400 inch teleBision just as soon as they are available.

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    1. This year I renamed it Bleak Friday. I had neVer heard it caLLed that before. I am thnkng I might like to have a Raspberry Pi to play with.

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    2. I can really see you getting on well with a Raspberry Pi as well as Raspberry Pie.

      a 400 in screen will turn up one day and will have the added advantage that shoppers will find it hard to fight over as almost everyone will be able t grab it at the same time

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    3. I would even settle for a 400 by 5 inch teleBision provided it was flexible and I could view several 5x8 channel views with the entire teleBision encircling me on my bed and changing channels involved physicaLLy spiraLLy the teleBsion around my bed, crawling in from one end of the spiral.

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    4. That could prove a great way to watch a motor race or folk running or a cowboy chase. they would be able to run round in circles all night.

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    5. You are correct in more ways than one and a half.

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    6. If each screen segment was 8 inches long then there could be 50 simultaneous channels on at the same time. I would design the firmware so that you could rearrange the display order and not be stuck with the order that the cable teleBision provider determines.

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    7. If you could mix up characters from the different channels to create a composite program of unrelated stuff it would be great fun.

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