Friday, 14 November 2014

The Final Part (part 4) of Harry Potter and the Penguin


After a quiet night resting at Hogwarts Higgs, Alice and the White Rabbit walk out into the central courtyard to assess the day, it is snowing heavily and Alice and the White Rabbit look up into the greyness of the day. Young Higgs however is watching Hagrid scurrying about looking in holes and under things, it is then that he realises that there are no penguins to be seen anywhere.

Young Higgs says THEY'RE GONE and as he does so Hagrid runs across and says THEY'RE GONE, as the four of them look round a small figure runs into Hogwarts struggling through the snow. It is Bilbo from Bilbo Laggings Ltd, he is exhausted and says I need to see Harry potter straight away its terrible they are destroying the Shires.
Young Higgs asks who is.

It’s the White Witch, three of the Professors and hundreds of thousands of those Penguins, I thought they were cute but no its terrible I CAN'T speak of it but they are coming this way.

As Harry and Hermione come out to see what is happening and Bilbo jibbers his tale at them Alice, the White rabbit and Young Higgs prepare to head off to meet the White Witch out in the open. We are coming too says Hermione I suspect this situation needs some real wizards.

Well I'M not sTaying here says Hagrid I have several cute penguins to look after and I DON'T want them getting hurt in some wizard battle.

As the group head north they eventually find themselves on a snow covered hill where in the far distance they can see movement, tiny specs at first but then the figure of the White Witch, Professor Seriously White Professor Penguinus Webfoot White and Professor John Lewstore White a hunchbacked assistant called Quasimodo and hundreds of thousands of cute fluffy penguins slowly but surely get closer and closer.

As the White Witch and her army arrive at the small band consisting of Young Higgs, Alice, The White Rabbit, Hagrid, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger she laughs HAH AH HAH HA HAH ah ha hah ah hahha ha ha ha ha hah a hah ah ah h ha hahha ha hah ahaah hah ah ah ah ah haa h hah ah h h hah aah in a mad hysterical way and says I plan to distoy the lot of you but I plan to start with that really annoying White Rabbit. . . . I hate White Rabbits.

As she looks at the group she notices that Alice is wearing exactly the same coat as she is. . . WHAT WHERE DID you get that coat How dare you come to a battle wearing the same coat as me I will destroy you next.

AH sorry about that Miss Alice I DIDN'T expect that said Hagrid the White Witch looking very angry at him Anyway your army is an army of cute fluffy rabbits I DON'T think you will get very far with them they are my pals and cute.

The conversation is interrupted by the sound of a boy singing
We're walking in the air
We're floating in a moonlit sky
The people far below
Are sleeping as we fly

As everyone looks up to see what it is they see Jim the cabin boy holding the hand of a snowman flying through the sky above them

Hagrid looks at the Penguins and says Look they are looking all lustful again they like Jim.  But with that the Penguins suddenly fire terrible death lasers from their eyes destroying the snowman and Jim in an instant . . . . . . . . . . AH DAMN I was not expecting that either AH said Hagrid.

As the White Witch Laughs madly again both Harry and Hermione try to cast spells on the White Witch but it proves futile.  She laughs again and the holding her hand out shouting in a very very loud voice

I am INDESTRUCTIBLE you see I have the RING; I Have the Arctic Seal. . . . . .

Well if there is one thing you should never shout out loud in front of a huge group of Penguins it is Arctic Seal and as she does they panic and run about attempting to escape. as they do so the White Rabbit steps forward holding his trusty samurai sword in readiness. The White Witch sends a huge bolt of wizard lightning stuff in a huge arc of lights and fire and smoke which engulfs the White Rabbit as it makes contact with the end of the samurai sword.  The White Witch at first looking very pleased and stark staring mad. But the White Rabbit is not affected and as the huge arc of lightning and wizard stuff flashes and glows between them, then the White Witch starts to char slightly and starts to lift off the ground.

Hermione says I DON'T understand what is happening

Well says Alice the White Rabbit is in fact an Arctic Hare and the power of the ring the so called Arctic seal is the very power that he uses to live. He will just get stronger and he hates the White Witch because all these coats of hers are made from Arctic Hares, the ring knows this also so she is about to die.

As Alice speaks the Witch is spun high into the air screaming and explodes into a million tiny Christmas tree decorations which fall to earth around the group.

Professor Seriously White Professor Penguinus Webfoot White and Professor John Lewstore White run to the woods to hide but a strange roar is heard. What was that says Harry and Alice says I think it was a Jabberwock

As they stand on the hill it stops snowing and in the distance a strange figure wearing a red coat on a sledge pulled by an odd looking beast with antlers and a red nose approaches

HAR HAR HAR  Merry Christmas I be Santa this year HAR HAR HAR says Captain Silver And Lassie be dressed up as Bambi or what ever that reindeer be called.

With the sight of Santa the Penguins know it is time to return to the Antarctic and head off on mass off into the distance to do what penguins do.

Here I do Have one question said Captain Silver Have any of you seen that Scally-wag Jim the Cabin Boy he was making a snowman one minute and then he vanished.

The group all look at one another and shake their heads before they all return to Hogwarts.

The END . . . .or is it . . . .  


  1. I ha ve always heard it said, "That if you head north fast enough, hard enough, and with great persistence, you can get to Mars." The neXt time we are going down the road and I see an antelope or deer going in a southern direction, I am going to ask my wife, "Do you know where that antelope is headed?" and she wiLL reply something, and I wiLL say, "Most likely not Mars."

    1. When I go to work I wiLL test to see if any of our employees are reaLLy penguins in disguise by yelling, "Leopard Seal!!!" and see if the scurry off to the sea to get away from the seal. I wiLL then seal the doorway so they can not get back in. And by "sealing the doorway" I mean that I wiLL paint in photorealism a murderous munching mammal, a seal, on the door to scare away penguins.

    2. Seals are more useful than folk realize. And I suspect an Antelope has a good fighting chance of beating man to Mars, provided it heads in the right direction in the first place. I have always assumed it must be up.

    3. With the earth at an angle and rotating on its axis and around the sun and Mars going around the sun in roughly the same plane there would be a whole bunch of directions to where Mars is with 'up' being probably not the right direction for a straight path to Mars. But I suspect that digging a hole completely through the earth in any direction may be cost and time prohibitive for the rocket ship to launch through in order to go straight to Mars.

    4. There has been much in the news lately here about Europe landing a small probe on a comet. The BBC news do like to call it a speeding comet like in superman . . . . faster than a speeding comet. . . . . I was a little curious though as I had always assumed all comets were speeding comets, but maybe some are slow comets. if so it would have so much easier to chase the slow one.

    5. Curious now ... It would be cool to find out that the speed of light is not constant but the speed of comets was. My main eXperience with comet is as a household cleaner. There was something that exploded over Texas several days ago that was picked up on the NASA meteor cameras in New Mexico from 500 miles away. One camera witnessed the fireball and the one farther away noticed the night sky get momentarily brighter. Perhaps another Malaysian airliner off track.

  2. Phew! After all that, I feel like I need to lie down...

    1. Well I must admit I didn't have a clue where that was heading . . . . I keep reading that this is not how to write. . . . . DAMN