Friday, 26 July 2013

Micro-Steam Powered Electro-Mechanical Wasps and The Duchess of Cabbage.......

Last night after I had finished my diary entry I sort of mentioned I was off to do battle with the Wasps. I don’t mind Wasps normally, but with four nests all in close proximity to the back door; and as a result of the warm summer (so far) their numbers rapidly increasing, it was time to do battle. Now I thought the little critters would all be in bed but even after 10:30pm there was still some activity but I decided it was time to act. Dad had very kindly supplied me with a powder that he had bought from a shop which you puffed in the general direction of the nest and with its total range of about twelve inches meant I needed to be close up and staring the beasts in the eye so to speak. Easy enough with the ground based nest but no so easy up a ladder puffing the stuff under the roof tiles, PHEW I am glad we live in a bungalow.

So with my torch and powder I attacked the nests and WOW ZAP POW there were wasps all over the place loads of them (I mean really loads), because it was dark they were out to attack anything that was bright so the security light, the windows, and of course my torch which I very quickly switched off. Now these beasts were mad and out of control but I was OK because I just stood in the dark and listened to the massed swarms of wasps getting more and more confused crashing into lights and windows and then they all just sort of died.

I am not sure what is in that powder but I would not advice making dinner with it because just a small amount zapped an awful lot of wasps.

Dad has said he had got used to the constant buzz and attacks and it was too quiet so he is now making Micro-Steam Powered Electro-Mechanical Wasps to replace the real ones, but his are people friendly as they smile and can be trained to hum the national anthem, which he says will be very useful when that royal has her baby, you know the Duchess of Cabbage . . . . . . He is not really good with royals so a bit confused who they all are.

I would just like to point out No Wasps were harmed in the making of this Diary Entry . . . . . .  AH OK that’s not entirely true  . . . . . Sorry Wasps.



  1. Question: Did you know that steam is invisible? Steam is water vapor which happens to be invisible. When people see a plume of "steam" coming from some object, (.e. train, factory, wasp), they are actuaLLy seeing the tiny drops of liquid water condensate suspended in the invisible steam. As far as electro, I think real wasp have a nervous system which also runs on electromoscity.

    I am not sure if I have ever heard of the Duchess of Cabbage before, but I do think I have seen cabbage cooked in a Dutch oven until it turned soft, an S word, so, yes,

    Dutch S ov(en) Cabbage,

    translated .... hahahahahahaha .. ah

    1. I do remember that steam is invisible now you come to mention it. I think I may mean the Duchess of Cambridge, which interestingly has one of the highest density of high tech electronic companies in Britain, but none of them make Wasps (I think)

      I have heard of a Dutch Barn but not a Dutch Oven.

      An excellent Trans late shone