Friday 23 November 2012

The funeral, the spy and the alien


Today’s funeral was in many respects a much happier affair, OK yes we are talking funerals but the one today was for someone much older than yesterdays. And they wanted their funeral today to be happy, which it was, It was also held in the little chapel rather than the more grand main church, I think they are a bit friendlier in the chapel than the grand church. There was also loads of food afterwards for everyone, and I mean loads, I did try and eat as much as possible and was doing rather well at one point but then someone refilled the big plate on the table I was sat at with food again, but I was well stuffed by then and was only able to nibble chocolate cake.

Sadly I missed Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian spy who was near the back of the chapel, but then as a master of disguise it is easy for a famous Russian spy to blend seamlessly into the background of a crowd of people. I am not sure if Miss Fionaski was on a secret mission or not, but she was unable to turn up to eat loads of food in the town hall. I think she must have gone home to eat black caviar and drink Russo-Baltique Vodka as you do when you are a Russian spy.



I was also volunteered at home to sweep up all the leaves and the like that had blown out of the trees yesterday and filled our drive at home as I was not at school, what with going to the funeral. So I had a very exciting time this morning sweeping piles of very wet leaves, at least when they are wet they do not blow about all over the place although I prefer not to have a dog and two cats shouting you missed a bit. After yesterdays terrible weather it has been rather sunny today which is classic British weather; however we were lucky yesterday as there have been loads of floods and chaos in many of parts of the UK. It also appears that there is more rain and gales due tomorrow so some places are expecting more floods tomorrow and Monday, it is turning into a very wet year indeed in Britain.

This weather is not great for aliens and might explain why we have not seem any for a couple of weeks or so, after all squelching through mud in wellingtons is no fun for an alien or Mr Jones who has had to start wearing clothes in the woods at night while he waits in his effort to communicate with the aliens. As he says a man wearing no clothes and just a pair of wellington boots hiding in the woods at night in the cold of winter tends to make people think you are a bit odd. I think we can all agree with him about that.

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5 comments:

  1. I saw a commercial for the Wheel of Fortune teleBision show recently, and in it Vanna White was pushing the rake in the wrong direction while talking into the camera.

    I am glad you had a better funeral today. I remember a funeral where everyone had to remove their neckties, it was the deceased person's request. He was a cool doctor with a neat voice I stiLL remember even though he died 14 years and 15 days ago. He was only 51 years old. I think we sang "Here Comes Peter Cottontail" or some other siLLy children's song at the memorial service, and then vice versa one of those songs was sang at the graveside service which I didn't attend as it was family only before the memorial service.

    WeLL, I am sad now, so I think I wiLL go before I start crying. I had to help my mother with some final things earlier today and I need to find something cheery to occupy my mind. I think I need a funny Bill Murray movie.

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    1. Even though people choose chirpy cheery songs at funerals, most of the organists seen to have a knack of slowing them down and making them sound gloomy. It is part of the church organist exam I think. Sing silly children's songs at a funeral sounds like a cool idea. In the UK return to sender is quite popular.

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  2. Heres hoping this is the last funeral you have to go to for a long while. They are never fun, even if they want to be.
    If you enjoy raking the leaves you are always to pop up to the campsite with a bag 'cos we have billions and billions of them. there is a big tree outside my kitchen window that just loves to drop a ton of leaves every time i mamange to fill a bag. (8 bags so far) even though it looks like there are only 6 little golden browns ones left I know it hiding another 43,000 at least.

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    1. hope so too Mr H as you say, they tend not to be fun no matter how hard the person may have wanted them to be. After all it is seen as bad form to wear a flashing revolving bow tie,wearing a sequin suit and telling Groucho Marx jokes. . . . I will not try that again in a hurry.

      As for all you leaves I think with all that wind I may have some of your millions here too now, plus a few from Spain. I would happily come and sweep your leaves up only I have been told by a man from British Rail that they are the wrong sort of leaves so . . . . .AH

      I hope you are aware you are adding to the EU leaf mountain, no wonder Europe is in a bit of bother.

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    2. Its always my fault. flipping EU!

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