Saturday 26 May 2012

The yin and Yang of the Eurovision Song Contest and guess what it is hot again


Guess what, I know its hard to believe but it is too damn hot again, I have written a letter to my old mate Captain Nessman of the High Seas to see if he can persuade that Mr Al Gore chap to do something about it. Apparently Mr Gore has made some strange effigies to the sun god Marduk, that look a bit like half a tennis racket? The result of which it is rather hot, OK very hot, OK very ********* hot in the UK, which is just not right. According to dad it is all part of a plot by international bankers to take peoples minds off recession and world unrest. Dad says just as we acclimatize the weather will nose dive and the day of the great jubilee calibrations will see a sudden unexpected return of sleet and snow which will last until the closing ceremony of the Olympics.

We have decided to pretend we on holiday in the Med and are now eating on the decking outside the dinning room at the front of the house.



And talking of the Olympics I am having a few techy problems with the Cultural Olympian, so all is not well. I hope to resolve these soon. Maybe he is just slightly bigger than is structurally safe for a cardboard man. Unfortunately it is proving extremely difficult to find information on the structural design of cardboard athletes. And looking through the masses of data on the internet for expert advice on the construction of cardboard robots, I was finally directed to me ‘The Monty Cardboard Robot Club’ ……………. O yes HA HA very funny it appears I am the expert to which I need to refer myself too.  

Anyway it is the great European Song Contest tonight, what is now the world greatest and at the same time worst media event for music ever in the world. It has taken hundreds of years to perfect, the perfect balance of yin and yang that this song contest represents which is totally brilliant in its awfulness, if only those who run the Olympics could learn from this, the Olympics would truly be what they are meant to represent…….It is the taking part not the winning”  and there would be no need to drug oneself up to the eyeballs because no one would care if you got NIL POI. (sorry if you are in the USA you are probably thiking WHAT?)



Britain has even written a special song about the Yin and Yang of the European Song Contest in calibration of its greatness. 


Oh by the way it was a COOL PARTY (but VERY HOT) and I forgot to take my camera so mum has said IDIOT 
.

13 comments:

  1. Apparently nobody wants to win it this year as it costs too much to stage. The Russian Grannies seem to be doing very well.

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    1. Yes I have got to watch it I have made notes. I thought the Any Winehouse lookalike was best myself. But then what do I know.

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    2. Amy .... Silly qwerty keyboard again

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  2. Oh Englebert, you have failed us!

    Oh and can the government get in touch with your dad and ask him to fix the weather machine?

    It's so hot...oh, have we mentioned that already?

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    1. Yes Miss Lily it is indeed hot I quite agree and it is messing with the Cultural Olympian too so not good.

      Englebert did fail us but it was not entirely his fault there we three issues

      1 He is to old his voice was breaking at points and he was chosen for the wrong reasons

      2 Sorry but it was a boring song all this Oh dear he has to go first they will forget us was rubbish, it was just a boring song and that was that.

      3 Damn it this is Eurovision and is more politics that a song contest so if we are not happy coming last then why do we help bank roll the show.

      As I have said in response to the other comment above I though the Italian song was best myself. I did in fact make a little comment about all the songs and if I cant think of anything else I will post them tomorrow. It is very late for me so I am off to bed

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  3. Perhaps there isn't hot weather, but instead you have a feVer? If anyone there agrees with you that it is hot, then check them for feVer as weLL. Here is how you check someone for a feVer. Take your and and hold it on their forehead for at least 30 seconds. Then get a thermometer designed for reading human temperatures. Ask the person if they have a normal temperature. If they do not, use 98.6 F. If it is significantly higher than that, they or you have a feVer. If their temperature is close to 70-75 range, they are probably dead, no matter how much they argue that they are not dead. Oopz, I must go, the wife brought a movie home ....

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    1. No it is definitely hot weather but if we can hang on until the end of the week, it will be the queens jubilee and there are millions of street parties. That plus two bank holidays and the school half term is almost certainly the Kiss of Death for the sun.

      And I hope the movie was a good one, if it is post 1960 it probably wont mean anything to us.

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    2. She didn't bring home the movie that I had requested, Hugo. She couldn't find it.

      1958

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    3. Did she say "well hugo and find it then" ...... HAH AHHAH Hah hah hah hhah hah haha

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  4. Daman bankers and their evil plot to make me melt into the pavement.

    Eurovision is too euro trashy to me. I didn't watch it, but I saw someones facebook status ranting on about the UK being second to last and how 'disgusting' that was since the UK's bailing everyone out at the moment. Personally I couldn't care less, but we know the Eurovision is one big political sucking up to each other party!

    Good luck with your cardboard athlete!

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    1. Eurovision is a strange thing, my good friend the ghost writer has watched it for nearly a billion years and even he was a bit shocked to see Engleburt Hump turn up.

      I will say there were some rubbish songs, really bad ones but I think the HUMP was the most boring. Always hard to win when the punters fall asleep.

      Yes indeed evil bankers my brain has turned to mush today, total mush.

      And thanks for the luck I need it

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  5. I can't believe Englebert came so low, and I don't even CARE about eurovision.

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    1. Sadly he had the most boring song in Eurovision. Ans so by song three everyone had forgot about him. It was not the worst song but it was very boring and he was very grey not a good Eurovision colour.

      Still next year we have ELVIS so COOL...

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