Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Neptune and the Newtonian Telescope

The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales

N    Neptune and the Newtonian Telescope

Back in the Neolithic times when newts navigated the north like huge lumbering Naughty Nomadic Naturalists from Nevada; we find Neptune knapping (DAMN those silent K’s) not knowing (DAMN again) of the nearing nemesis. It was his Auntie Nelly who nudged him and said “Newts are nibbling your new Newtonian telescope”. Neptune the great king of the Never world was not happy as it was new and he was hoping to discover a new planet with it, so he leap nimbly to his feet. “No No NO be off you NASTY newts never darken my Newtonian telescope again”.  But the newts knew (DAMN those K’s again) that it was a year ago almost to the day that the NEMESIS of the NIGHT, the NEOLITHIC NEON NEWTONOSAUR emerged from the depths of the deep, so the newts shouted NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA Na na na na YA SUCKS BOO at Neptune, which was not Nice.

The Next day (evening) Neptune viewed the night sky examining Nebula and Ninety nine Norwegian Nudists in a Nut tree when he noticed a small knobbly (DAMN AGAIN) object in the night sky, a small object never seen before one which Neptune decided to call Neptune a new and noble planet.  As Neptune nodded knowingly (damn done it again) and watched a nymph as it navigated the newts pond, the rather nasty NEMESIS of the NIGHT from last year, the NEOLITHIC NEON NEWTONOSAUR sneaked up behind him and ate him, it’s a nasty critter. 

And to this day every time a Newt looks up into the night sky and sees the Noble planet Neptune navigating its way across the night sky, it ponders the nature of the Natural world and says NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA Na na na na YA SUCKS BOO . . . . . . . .

I did say newts are not nice.

The End

I have received the Badge of Cool from one of my favourite blogs (and member of RATs)

Mr Bumferry Hogart at Thoughtless Gibberish  

Many thanks Mr H your a genius 



  1. This is a wonderful informative post. Thanks I really enjoyed the read and video.


    1. Thank you, although I feel the information may be less that accurate, much like my spelling and typing.

  2. N of Telescope

    I found some more N stuff for you about telescopes.

    The telescope was invented in The Netherlands

    The Neutrino Detector is a kind of telescope

    There is a kind of telescope caLLed infrared, or as pronounced in Texas, "N-frared"

    There is a telescope in Chile caLLed the New Technology Telescope, but it was built in 1989, 14 years ago, so without even looking, I would guess it doesn't necessarily have the newest technology. But I could be wrong, perhaps by having that name "New" everyone might take their New technology there to try out before instaLLing it anywhere else. (?)

    There is a place in the Caucausus named Zelenchukskaya that has a large telescope. So if it has "Zelenchukskaya" wrote on the side of it and the telescope was pointed up, then the Z of Zelenchukskaya would rotate to form an N. But then I realized that it being in the Caucausus it would most likely be written with Cyrillic font, which would look like: Зеленчу́кская - which of course would not look N-ish. BUT ... I researched the name of the telescope, and in Russian it is Специальная Астрофизическая Обсерватория, and each of the three names has the letter и which if you would look at that name with another telescope, the и would reflect back as N.

    1. An awesome reply Mr ESB, I am not sure I knew the telescope was invented in the Netherlands. Maybe because it is so flat they get to see more sky that people in other countries (I think I night (sorry might) need to add on average per person).

    2. 'than people' rather than, 'that people' . . . . . .

      DAMN these qwerty keyboards

    3. I am thinking maybe the qwertyuiop keyboard was not invented in The Netherlands.

      It is trying to be winter here again for a few more days, possibly get some ice, not sure how much snow, we may be just a bit south of the snow line. I am just saddened by too many things at the moment, mainly the marathon bombing, and my head hurts.

  3. Ninety-nine nude Norwegians? Best visual ever!

    1. Or the worst depending on the Norwegians.

  4. Ooh, this one was particularly tongue twistery.
    Also, The Lil man is most satisfied that the consumption of another being, took place. (I'm really beginning to worry about that child)

    I can't believe that we're now at 'N' Rob Z! I think that when the challenge is over, both The Lil Man and I will enjoy reading these from the beginning. :)

    1. I dont think anyone else is reading them out aloud to the person who plans to rule the world. But I am keeping my fingers crossed that once Master Lil man is ruling the world I may get a job as the official teller of stories, I don't fancy going down the salt mines.

      When it is all over I can send you the word document of it all as a email, it will make more sense then as a complete all in one fairy tale.

  5. Oh, those Newts ... fun post. Are they always so ... bad?

    Silvia @ Silvia Writes

    1. Yes I'm afraid that my stories really are this bad, in fact they get worse as time passes. . . . . .

      HAH HHAH AH hahh ha hah ah ha ahahh ahahah ah ahahahahah hahah hahahaha hah ahhahah ah ahahahahhah ah