Saturday 13 April 2013

Lucinda the Little Leprechaun from Lapland


The Slightly eccentric A to Z blogging adventure of unknown and rather unpopular Modern fairy tales
2013


L   Lucinda the Little Leprechaun from Lapland


Lucinda was a little leprechaun from Lapland a land full of large lama’s and lava flows, lakes and lavish lampposts, but she longed to travel. She had learnt much of life beyond Lapland and her home town of Lilliput from the lovely books in the library. Then one day she thought I will travel on a large luxury liner and visit new lands, although to be safe I will take a Leopard (or maybe a lion) with me.  Once aboard the Lusitania she enjoyed the late night entertainment and lounging lazily on loungers while Captain Luke and his trusty lieutenants. Leap about making sure all worked like clockwork, shouting Land Ho from time to time.



The LUSITANIA’s first port of call was LICHTENSTEIN which was unusual because it is Land Locked, but Captain Luke said he had been following a large flock of Lapwings as he had got a little lost. Lucinda the leprechaun liked Captain Luke a LOT, LISTENING to his tales of life at sea, which as we all know is a liquid.  

Once ashore in Lichtenstein Captain Luke took Lucinda Line Dancing and bought her Lichen Soup, and as they chatted Love bloomed, as it does. The Liners departure had been delayed due to large colonies of Limpets that were making the ship List to the left. So Captain Luke took Lucinda to the park where they lingered to look at the sunset as lyre birds sang limericks in a line of lime trees.

Unbeknown to both Captain Luke and Lucinda though hiding in the lavish lush leaves of a Larch tree was Lieutenant Larry Larson the liners Lifeguard, he leered and lusted after Lucinda and made lewd gestures at Lucinda and lots of them, he had Learnt these from a lexicon of knowledge; the Captain was livid and called him a lecherous leach. But Lieutenant Larson was high in the tree and just laughed. But he did not know that leopards are very good climbers and Lex the Leopard was up the larch tree like lightning up a lamp post where the leopard ate Lieutenant Larson and licked his lips.

They then returned to the liner and were married (that’s Captain Luke and Lucinda not the leopard and the Lieutenant) and the liner left for London and everyone lived happily ever after except the lieutenant who had been eaten by the leopard for his lunch. 




 OOOooooooo one small item of information, this is post number 800, I think that is not bad bearing in mind my first post was 15th Feb 2011 although my diary originally started on FB on the 15th Oct 2010


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12 comments:

  1. I love the line "as Lyre birds sang Limericks in a Line of Lime trees." That was quite poetic Rob Z.

    The Lil man did not enjoy the romance part so much but soon perked up and cheered at the eating part...where did I go wrong?? Another fine post Mr Z. :)

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    1. Poetic? . . . . . . . . . . DAMN that was not meant to happen.

      I entirely agree with the Lil man

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  2. I LAUGHED as I LOOKED at your LORE.

    I think I have around 800 blogposts too, but they are spread across several blogs. Hard to get an eXact number, as my main writing blog had several hidden posts that were never published.

    It is a pretty day here. After gumboing I plan to water my grapevines and play with Cooper. I just realized that the word 'gumboing' seems to have an internal conflict. It has the gum part which implies sticky, or staying in place, whereas the boing is the sound of bouncing, neither of which have much to do with soup.

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    1. You might make a sticky bouncy soup.

      It is raining here today, the weatherman said it was going to be sunny, he LIED.

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    2. I had the same thing happen - 0 Percent Precipitation Predicted - yet there was definitely rain AND thunder. I made the word and uppercase instead of thunder since thunder actuaLLy happens (starts) farther away before you actuaLLy hear it, unleSS of course the here of the thunder where it's starts happens to be eXactly where you are, then it's a here hear hair situation, and my use of the word hair there was a reference to the tiny sound receptors inside your ear.

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    3. Well as they say if you hear the thunder you are OK because that is God shouting missed. If you don't hear the thunder you have been struck by lightning and g
      God does not shout missed he says, HELLO welcome to heaven......

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  3. If the Leopard and Lieutenant had been married instead, it would have been a very different story...a disturbing story.
    Also, Captain Luke reminds me of Lon Chaney for some reason.

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    1. Lon Chaney, that is very COOL, that might explain why he was OK with a Leopard on board.

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  4. LOVE it :)
    I think it's only fitting that the lecherous lieutenant wound up lining the leopoard's... l(stomach)

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    1. It is a tale with a moral.

      Never unset a person with a pet Leopard.

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