Thursday, 28 February 2013

"Here's Johnny!" . . . . An Axe, a Chainsaw and the GPS

I have spent a good part of the day using a chainsaw and a large axe although the woodwork teacher said that fine delicate Marquetry is best done with smaller and slightly more delicate woodwork tools. He is of course right but on the other hand using a chainsaw and a large axe is a great deal more fun and exciting. 

We were working in pairs and normally I would be teamed up with Freddie or Esmeralda but today we had a bit of a move about, why do teachers do stuff like that everyone was happy, but no no we all have to work with new people to improve our team spirit  and stuff. So I was working with Targuin Charles the third, who is well impressed that I am head boy of a posh academy.  I did explain that I became head boy due to a typing error in the pupil database and that the school had to become an academy because the comprehensive schools system does not allow school mascots (the school goat) to eat pupils. As an academy with private funding from the Petro-chemical industry and the Goat Preservation Society (GPS), the occasional loss of a first year or what ever year a first year is these days is sort of glossed over as the price of creating a generation of eccentrics.  And well it is the way of the world we all need to learn that goats are not vegetarians and will eat anything that moves, or does not move for that matter.

Anyway, Targuin Charles the third’s dad had lent Targuin Charles the third a nice French Walnut Louis XV Marquetry Bureau from 1793 to do a bit of repair work on, so the pair of us set too with the chainsaw. Targuin Charles the third had never used a chainsaw before so he thought it was great fun although he was a little heavy handed which meant that the nice French Walnut Louis XV Marquetry Bureau from 1793 was a little gnarled looking by the end of the day but I have to admit Tarquin is a natural with an axe. His little face smiling through the woodwork room window in a slightly mad glazed way as the chauffer turned up, his rather posh little voice shouting "Here's Johnny!" (that’s the chauffer I think) as he ran out to see him clutching his axe (my axe as it happens I must get it back tomorrow). The woodwork teacher says he might get some MDF and a bit of white gloss paint to sort the French Walnut Louis XV Marquetry Bureau for Tarquin as he looked a bit stressed.

Oooo yes in another wood related incident as I was walking up the drive this morning a man in a huge logging truck hooted and waved, I was not expecting that because I don’t think Mexican Dave drives logging trucks. So it is possible that the Mexican Wave started yesterday is still working its way along the road  . . . . . . .WELL COOL.

AH yes, also My friend from the world of Blogging Me ESB had a thought and suggested a change of tack as I forgot what was going on for a couple of days, and suggested I try writing about what was going off. Ironically when I looked at the news earlier I found that the Pope was going off to stop at Castel Gandolfo or as we would call it The Castle of Gandalf, I sorry but a man going off to live in the Castle of Gandalf wearing long white ropes to read old leather bound medieval books with locks on makes me wonder if he planning to do what I do from time to time and do a re-enactment of a certain film trilogy. They are long films too which would explain the need to retire.   



  1. I will add that there are only a few of us who write blogs like this and its a damn shame if you ask me. I keep looking but so far its just us RAT's. . . . . OK me

  2. Your use of "Targuin Charles the third's dad" instead of saying "Targuin Charles the second" cracked me up laughing but maybe bcause I am operating on veRy little sleep.

    1. What is worse is I had not thought of the fact that Targuin Charles the thirds's dad was in fact Tarquin Charles the second. I think you must be right about that because otherwise when Tarquin Charles the second has a son he will be well annoyed to find out someone else has nicked the name.

      I wonder who Tarquin Charles the first is?

    2. The son of Tarquin Charles the Zero.

  3. Funnily enough Rob Z, when I got to the part about the 'Petro-chemical industry and the Goat Preservation Society', I started singing "this is the self preservation society", only to then scroll down and see the same theme from one of my all time favourite movie ever!

    It is a shame that there aren't more blogs out there with a bit of an edge. I keep looking as well and it's getting a tad frustrating. Ooh 6:30am, gotta wake the Lil man up for school! :)

    1. WOW 6:30am people wake up at that time of day, I always thought that was an old urban myth told to me by groups of people trying to extract me from a duvet which I was hiding in. I reckon I could do that in the summer with a warm sunny day attacking my eyes but in the cold of winter the shock would result in the need to lie down and have a little rest.

      It also appears to be a big gap between getting up and starting school, I would also take that opportunity to go to bed.