Friday, 7 September 2012
reconstituted mash potato a goat and continental shift
Today must have been one of the hottest days of the year so far, how come? it is now September and the summer holidays have just finished and we finally get summer. I am starting to think that the world is not suffering from global warming but global time shift, resulting in all the right weather but at the wrong time. We are told by the geography teacher that the continental shift is happening all the time, and I know that as you move round the world you need to adjust your watch. So if the continental plates are moving round the world and we are not adjusting our watches to compensate it is no wonder it is all going wrong. I tried to explain this to the Geography teacher but he just said IDIOT; but I also noticed his watch had the wrong date on it and told him AH-HA you see your watch has the wrong date but he just said that happens all the time. You see I think I have made my point; we are not talking a few seconds here or there but many days at a time.
The strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures did not have a good day today as it was the parade of the School mascot……. Yes the school goat is back, and in a tradition that apparently goes back to 1963 the goat is carried aloft and cheered before getting a hearty meal of Fish fingers and reconstituted mash potato. Nothing but the best food for the school goat on his first day back, we were rather hoping he might manage to eat all the reconstituted mash potato but sadly there were huge amounts of it and even the goat hardly made a dent in it. When I say hardly made a dent I mean it; apparently one of the cooks got the mix wrong and so tomorrow a team of workers with pneumatic drills will be working in the kitchen in order that all will be well for Monday. You can tell when school dinners have gone wrong when it breaks your plate as it hits it.
OK as I was saying the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures did not have a good day today. Running ……… well I say running it was more of a stagger. It appears they are not yet use to the steam powered bionic legs they have………. Sorry distracted again, I was saying running at the goat with a huge machete shouting I HATE GOATS or to be more accurate ****** ****** ******* ******* GOATS, we thought the goat was a goner but as he looked up attempting to chew a particularly large piece of reconstituted mash potato the machete hit the reconstituted mash potato and shot out of the hand of the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures, burying itself in the school sign just a few inches above the headmasters head. Almost another rolling head incident, anyway the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures had to sit outside the headmasters office all day…
It’s dark now I have taken a picture to prove it, I bet it should be light really but we are in the wrong place.