Wednesday, 16 May 2012
The Cat and the Chicken and the Goat and the Poet
Today is a much better day, rather hot as it happens so WELL COOL? Mum has said IDIOT. It is no doubt due to the fact that mum poured a gallon of petrol on dads weather machine this morning and torched it, then she did the same to my toga and the laurel and to make absolutely sure that none of these things would affect the weather she torched Hardy as well. His last words were “That’s another fine mass you got me into”. I think he might have thought he was in some bizarre Satanist ritual, what with mum being a Goth and Napoleon Beelzebub helping her. He loves a good fire.
I was telling Esmeralda about Beelzebub popping in to say hello and helping mum set fire to Laurel and Hardy and she got in a strop. She has always wanted to be a Satanist but Mr Beelzebub has said he does not need all the agro so accidently forgets to log all the bad things, so he who must be obeyed thinks she a right goody two shoes.
OK yes that’s another one of those stupid sayings isn’t it “a right goody two shoes”. No I must not get distracted by these things. As a result of Esmeralda’s strop she shaved half the hair off the Goat (the school mascot) and has sprayed him in red paint and is now training him to walk on his back legs and stab folk with this pointy spear thing ( I’m sure that has a special name?). I think the goat might sulk because he preferred to be catapulted over the school and into the fresh vegetable section of the out of town supermarket, as a mock devil they are unlikely to let him in. He has been banned from entering anyway (as a mere goat), his only way in at present being through the roof skylight where he has to grab what he can before security get him.
Last night in the real world I was making cardboard legs for an Olympic four minute Poet, No its true I really was, you see sometimes the real world is almost as surreal as that of cyberspace. It is plainly obvious that it will require more time than one night to complete legs so I will be carrying on tonight, then I have feet to think about, and I still need to make some ribs. I am starting to see the problems that he who must be obeyed had, no wonder we all turned out as we did if he had to think it all up in one day, I would not be able to do it, but then I have to use cardboard.
Finally Heavy Harry the Cat and the chicken have hatched a plan (Cat, Chicken ….. hatched plan…. … HAH HHAHa hah ahahah hah haha hah hahhah haha hah) after Sooty’s attack on the chicken the other night so I think Sooty the Cat needs to be careful.