Tuesday, 7 February 2012

The cat, The pond, The craft knife and the Mona Lisa

Sooty the Cat spent first thing this morning in a battle of wits with a large fat squirrel who was making faces at him, and rude gestures with his front paws. Squirrels are rather apt to make rude gestures as the can stand on their back legs and have an arrogant bolshie attitude to life (well the grey squirrels do, the red ones are wimps). Anyway Sooty the Cat was stalking the squirrel who by cleverly moving round the pond made Sooty take the short root.

Sooty having fallen through the ice only a day ago would, you would think, (? Is that right) think I will not leap on the thin ice of the pond to chase a squirrel and risk DEATH. O NO he was sat in the middle of the pond on the thin ice waiting to leap. We all shouted at him, well most of us did, true the dog and Harry the Cat were shouting GO TO THE DEEP END. THE SQUIRREL WILL NOT EXPECT THAT. Sooty having lost concentration as a result of being shouted at them run about on the pond panicking until he finally came back inside for some food. Somehow we seem to have ended up with the stupidest cat in the world so he has now gone through two lives in as many days.

After school I went to the store to buy some super sharp craft knives as I will need them for the next big project The International Olympian. One thing I have discovered is that cardboard will blunt a knife very fast which is strange because fingers don’t, and a very sharp knife is better for making cardboard robots where as a very blunt knife is better for fingers. Have you noticed that life is always full of such paradoxes? These little craft knives are not called craft knives anymore no they are called wallpaper trimming knifes and with good reason, no one does craft things anymore.  So to obtain street cred the knives have been rebranded and the shop now suspects me of stock piling wallpaper.

Anyway I now have to think of a brilliant design for The International Olympian that will win prizes and glory and loads of money

I am sorry tonight’s diary entry is not a brilliant piece of witty clever writing but as you all I write everyday and sometimes it just sort of turns out boring. The trick is to look at it all as a whole, like say the Mona Lisa which  if we cut a nice neat one inch square randomly from the picture, it turns out to be just a bit of paint on a bit of canvas. It is only when we look at the whole thing  in context we see what it is, a great work of art with a hole in it, and that is the point at which it is best to run very fast.

OK yes I have used this piece of music before but we all love a bit of SteamPunk (ish) music

A bit of real SteamPunk


  1. The neXt generation 50 percent more complex and confusing than a paradoX would be a tripladoX, but I am so overwhelmed by the thought of it after having invented a mere 158 seconds ago that I can not give you a proper definition which in and of itself lies halfway between a paradoX and a tripladoX. I think I now need coffee and pie. My suggestion is to use laser beams, dull ones (slightly outta focus) on the cardboard.

    1. Tripladox are they not diner-saws. so now you cut your pie in half.

    2. My father-in-law owned a diner once upon a time. He did his own carpentry work. So he had a diner saw, a diner hammer, and a diner drill.

    3. I didn't Noah that HA AHHAH HAHAHH HAH HAHHAH HAha hah hahh ha ha hah ahahahh hhahhahhaha.

      Thats a wood be joke of biblical proportions, only watered down a bit.

      Sorry I will go again