The Pheasant and the Squirrel. God and the Councillors. Blue Cheese and Cats

We have been putting a lot of food out lately for the birds but they seem to eat it as fast as we manage to put it on the bird tables, and today I found out why, Firstly Pheasants eat quite a lot; and then so do Squirrels, and then I discovered that some very dodgy cheese from the fridge which was getting a little over ripe that had been put on the bird table was being eaten by the large black and white cat. Then when he ran off, a little black cat (not Sooty either) was eating it. I don’t think this was part of the plan.

It is all very good trying to be helpful and look after the birds and I guess the pheasants need some (I say some) food, but I am not sure we are up to feeding the entire Squirrel population, admittedly it appears to be just the one very fat Squirrel and Sooty just thinks of him as dinner. Which if the Squirrel keeps eating as much as he does is what will happen to him, resulting in one very fat Sooty.

So the Squirrel made it  just PHEW

I know that cats like cheese too, but we are talking blue cheese which will bite your head off with mouldy bits on the mouldy bits so I can imagine the big black and white cat on his return home leaping through his cat flat and being sick. Some poor unsuspecting family going O MY GOD WHAT IS THAT……. QUICK GET HIM TO THE VETS …….YUK I think the small black cat lives in the same house so ……….. AH.

I noticed in the local paper that councillors were not allowed to pray (or is it prey) in the council chambers. So it means we can no longer blame God for the pot holes in the road any longer, or the increase in council tax or my rather battered school bus. However the council can no longer play the Act of God, get out of Jail free card when we fall into the pot hole. As the little old lady did the other day when the dog smiled at her and she screamed, I have told the dog not to do that. Anyway the council say meetings are much simpler now, because God would insist in moving in mysterious ways, confusing the elderly members of the council which if I remember rightly is most of them.

I am missing words as I type at the moment and as I pointed out somewhere in cyberspace this is due to the need to think diversely about things of a diverse nature. I can slowly fix this on the blog or the block buster film script but not on FB so if you are on FB, and not watching the repeat on the movie on channel 7+ in twenty fives years time sorry about that.

 If you are watching the repeat of the movie on channel 7+ in twenty fives years time sorry about that, it’s all to do with budget cuts in the TV channel and no money for new programming …… Mum just said IDIOT, that’s a bit hard it’s not your fault there is nothing good on TV is it, some things never change..

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