Poetry for New Scientist and The Theory of Everything

While reading Twitter today, New Scientist said

Which quite frankly I thought was a bit of a Pain

There is still not a Theory of Everything

From the colour of Frogs, or Stars

To cellular structure of Cellophane.

WHAT I thought . . .WHAT. . .Are they MAD

Do they not read my Brilliant (but very humble) Blog

This is simply quite staggeringly BAD

Have I not explained in much detail everything?

From Zombies, Monsters, goats and STUFF

To exactly why there is a leg on each corner of dogs 

(that go RUFF)

Well it makes me wonder what their Journalists DO

Are they all in an Editorial MEETING?

Or mucking about making DNA with matches and GLUE

Claiming expenses for going out EATING

Drinking Coffee and Lager as they point and laugh

At the corners of dogs and a short pink giraffe

Which purely out of curiosity they then cut in half

Well that’s what they tell the Police

So next time you see a New Scientist CHAP

Tell him to wake up get on the internet 

And read all my CRAP (sorry Blog)

Not snore at his desk while having a NAP

YES YES we know its research after a long Lunch

Discussing the Big Burger Theory

Is my own educated Hunch.

I may have just ruined my Job prospects with a certain Science Based Journal

 . . . . . . . . . . DAMN