Almost Gibberish or Life is a Strange and Twisted Road

Mrs Javelin had always preferred blue and had no time for anyone that disagreed. As she pushed her way to the front of the queue past the Russian cosmonaut, his space suit glinting in the sunlight and a young mother with a pushchair piled high with babies and vast quantities of the required paraphernalia babies require. Mrs Javelin turning back quickly to comment . . . I'M old you know I cant wait all day.

Can I help you madam came the  voice from behind the counter

Mrs Javelin looked deep into the eyes of the Butcher pondering

Are you alright MADAM he said

Yes its your eyes they reminded me I need to get some rat poison for the cellar on the way home she relied

High above in the deep blue sky a young Dutch parachutist was gently falling toward the ground aiming for the white X marked clearly on the ground below him. He would not be going to the butchers shop, he had long felt that as a parachutist he was now at one with nature and the birds and the thought of eating chicken seemed wrong when he spent so much time frequenting their world up in the clouds.

Now in the Post Office Mrs Javelin was demanding three pounds of sausages and a tennis racket and despite several people trying to help and explain that it was the Post Office she was not having any of it and swung her handbag at a large chap wearing hand made alligator shoes. He fell to the floor with a large thud, you see Mrs Javelin was a bell ringer and had rather good upper arm strength and besides she always kept a large house brick in her handbag just in case.  But with the mention of the police she vanished sharpish.

Mrs Javelin had been involved with the police before and had no plans to become ‘The Most Undesirable Member of the Community 2015’ making it four years in a row with her picture on the front page of the Upper Gaswold Gazette.

Taking a shortcut across the park her continuing  shopping trip was suddenly interrupted by a large flock of chickens feeding around a large white cross on the grass.

Bloody Chickens she said

Duck said on old gentleman sat on a park bench

Don’t be stupid you bloody old idiot she said they are bloody Chickens.

At that very moment a young Dutch parachutist landed on her with a great crash sending rat poison everywhere.

Mrs Javelin went mad after that and the chickens all died from eating rat poison and the young Dutchman never really got over the shock of the death of all those chickens. The old man on the park bench died from a heart attack, a result of laughing so much as he watched the whole affair unfold. It also transpired that the old man on the bench was the last man in Britain who made handmade Alligator shoes.

Life is a strange and twisted road.

Written in the style of Mr H . . . . only not quite as good.