Friday, 14 March 2014

The A to Z of made up, unlikely and ridiculous super heroes

N is for Non-existent Man



Have you ever had a quiet night watching TV and thought to yourself . . . .  I really do hope no one turns up unexpected . . . . . .  Well this is a job for Non-existent Man, he never turns up when he is not wanted.

Do you lie in the sun in the summer worrying that something noisy and loud is  going to ruin it all flying overhead. . . .  Are you thinking  . . . Is it Bird is it a Plane . . . . Well NO its Non-existent Man, he makes no noise what so ever.

Do you rely on an Express train to get to work on time and have concerns it may be stopped by some idiot in a cape and tights. Well you can rely on Non-existent Man he never stops trains or chases bullets.

Are you a struggling burglar attacking little old ladies and stealing their cute kittens and have worries that some bloke in a mask is going to ruin your fur coat business just as it is getting started. Well NO you can depend on Non-existent Man to leave you in peace.




Pestered by Super Heroes, then call for Non-existent Man he never comes to your rescue….

9 comments:

  1. He doesn't sound like he wouldn't not perform some absolutely astounding tasks. Not really, really uninspiring. Not at all who I don''t want to be when I grow up. I think. Possibly.

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    1. As a super hero Non-existent Man has a lot going for him, he is indestructible and eco friendly and is brilliant at hide and seek as long as he is hiding. He does sort of give up seeking and folk get bored and go home.

      And his true identity remains unknown to this day.

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  2. Non-existant man is my best friend. He doesn't get mad when I don't call, doesn't expect anything from me, and leaves me alone. What a good guy.

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    1. We all like a chap who will help but not get in your space at the same time.....

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  3. I did not realize that I should worry about my fur coats. Now I wiLL. I am ready to go to work for a while but my wife is stiLL asleep. We were s'pposed to work on an art project together but she was lazier than me yesterday.

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    1. As long as your wife is thinking about Art, it is OK, Art involves a lot of thinking . . . . . Well that's what I tell folk and I seem to get away with it most of the time.

      Most beasts with fur tend to worry about fur coats but mainly because they prefer to see them on themselves.

      Prefer (Pre-Fur) . . .HAH HAH AH HAH AHAHH HA HAH AH HAH AH AH HA HAH AH ha ha ha ha ha

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    2. I got close to finishing my art project and got the customer's final approval to go to print when I am finished but then I got more sick with flu like symptoms, so a few things are on hold. Plus tomorrow is s'pposed to be a mopping day, so ..... Cooper is getting tired of me being sick and he is now irritating Tamie.

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    3. Get well soon Mr ESB, I guess its the end of winter crash that bodies have a habit of doing.

      I will send Non-existent Man, you will not even realize he has been.

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  4. Well I'd probably appreciate Nonexistent Man, unless he truly interfered with me seeing a man in tights. I'm okay with losing the furs, but not the tights!

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