The Principles of War . . . A Conspiracy Theory

Have you noticed that throughout history from the very first days of mankind us humans have had a bit of a habit of fighting one another, at a local level we fight one another outside the local pub. But we also fight in gangs running up and down streets and we then move on to the big stuff where huge groups fight one another over countries and finally countries fight one another with pointy sticks and large scary things that make large bangs.

Have you ever wondered why, well the first reason is it is a DNA thing we cant help it, it is a deep dark basic instinct from the days when man was still a small sea based beast doing his bit to survive. But there is another reason, well certainly one linked to the reason counties seem to attack one another with great gusto every now and again on the flimsiest of pretexts. . . . . . YES we are talking conspiracy theories (I am rather good at these).  

You see if you run a large country full of folk and all is sort of OK-ish all that happens is folk start fighting each other. They can’t help it, it is as I have said DNA triggered and beyond control. If you are in charge, it is not good having folk fighting because they start to blame you, the weather, the buses, taxes, seagulls, or the state of the economy.  So to avoid the masses turning on you and making life difficult the solution is to point the finger of blame on another countries, this has advantages for the leaders of the other country too, who can distract there own folk by blaming  you back.  Have you noticed that at any point in recent history there has always been a bad guy, until the mid eighties the East and West could blame each other or both point at China. Then that all sort of fell apart we all became friends and China made all this cool stuff dead cheap, them we had Iraq, Iran, Syria and the middle east, but that has all got so complicated no one understands it anymore, there was Afghanistan, but it is rocky bleak place and the folk there have been fighting each other for over two hundred years and will be doing so for at least the same again whether we like them of hate them.  We have even all blamed North Korea but  . . . . . . and I mean no disrespect to North Korea as a whole  . . . . they are rubbish and run by a tyrannical despot who is a mad as a hatter (purely my own option and I may be entirely wrong).

So we have been put in a situation where the political leaders have been worrying for ages about who we should shout at and attack next, in order to keep the folks at home happy. Who could possibly be the next bad guy.  I suspect at the last big meeting of the G8, G10, G20 they were all talking about the good old days of the iron curtain when folk knew where they stood, and them over there were the despicable rotters and we could build big walls and spy on one another and march about and wave flags.

Then some bright spark thought Hang ON CHAPS I have an idea what about if we have a bit of a crisis in say Crimea . . . . . . . . . . And all the leaders cheered and said we could build walls again and point pointy sticks at one another and build huge scary things that go bang. However President Putin said I don’t suppose there is any chance if we CAN leave it until after the winter Olympics, I have spent loads of money building stuff and everyone agreed it would be for the best, but as soon as they were over it would be tally ho with all guns blazing . . . . . . . . .

   

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