The traditional wooden Trojan Christmas Seagull as originally made by the ancient Aztecs

At school we were making a traditional wooden Trojan Christmas Seagull as originally made by the ancient Aztecs, I was not aware of this old tradition, it is not one I have heard of before, but the Woodwork teacher said it is a very common tradition in modern Sweden. He told us that the ancient Aztecs finally moved to Sweden when they were persistently persecuted by the Spanish who nicked all their gold. It was the Seagull god of the Aztecs Huitzilopochtli, that led them to their new land Sweden, the woodwork teacher said some historians in particular the History teacher foolishly say that Huitzilopochtli was in fact a hummingbird but that is stupid, as a hummingbird would never get to Sweden.

Well that is certainly true you don’t get hummingbirds in Sweden well OK you might in posh restaurants but I never been in one although I think I might have had a deep fried hummingbird in batter and chips (that’s French fries if you are American) once in Scotland, and the Vikings did live there for a long time.

Anyway as I was saying we were making Trojan Christmas Seagulls out of wood so that they can be filled with gifts of wonder for Christmas day. The woodwork teacher insisted we worked in pairs and so I found myself working with a new pupil who is from Russia, he told me he was excellent at woodwork and had made many Owls and wood pigeon in woodwork in the past back home. He told me not to worry because his middle name was Perfection, however I am not sure his parents had really thought this through because his first name is Alackof. Anyway we toiled away all day and by the end of the day had a Seagull to be proud of its heads majestic, its long necks arching into the sky and its razor sharp little teeth and scaly body glinting in the light of the woodwork teacher’s desk light. The woodwork teacher himself said he was totally speechless and in all the years he had been teaching had never seen a seagull like ours ever before; in fact he said he thought it unlikely he would ever see it’s like ever again in his teaching career. Me and Alackof were very proud and showed our seagull to the headmaster, but he screamed and ran away which was a bit odd, but some people can be very scared of birds so that would explain it I think?

Ooooo by the way I believe some royal person is pregnant, but well these things happen when adults do naughty things apparently. I thought royals were not meant to be naughty in case it brought about revolution and general chaos….. 

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