How to keep warm in the cold using Rats and Wooly Jumpers

It was a very cold day today, one that nibbled about at the extremities of one’s body resulting in the addition of many layers. These many layers may work remarkably well at keeping you warm, but it is only when you see someone else wearing additional layers that you come to realise there is a fine line between the practical and madness. Yes I think we all know who we are talking about . . . . The Ghost Writer, who popped in to say its jolly damn cold outside and I have resorted to wearing several extra layers of CLOTHING? It was pointed out to him that if there was one thing he did not need to point out to us, it was the fact he was wearing extra layers. I even removed several layers of clothing for a while in order to look normal (sort of normal) but decided that looking mad and being toasty and warm, beats looking normal and freezing. Strangely no one in school commented on my appearance but looking back on it I seem to remember that all the pupils resembled woolly balls of wool and sounded very muffled.

The Ghost Writer has told me that if you wear a few large rats under all the layers they make great hot water bottles although you do need to make sure they remain well fed and that you do not make any sudden movements. They do not take kindly to being sat on…….

It is the day after the start of the End of the World, I have to admit I am not sure if it has started to end or not, certainly no one is screaming or running about flapping their arms in the air. But then that is not easy with fifteen woolly jumpers on anyway, I just hope that the world in not going to end in a giant freeze as I was hoping for a warmer End of the World, luckily I do have a larger than average collection of jumpers due to a technical error when we moved house resulting in me obtaining loads of jumpers. I will run away now as the open fire is calling me to go and throw wood and coal on it for the evening.

.

.