Wednesday, 5 November 2014

The Big Fantastic Finish of Harry Potter Returns from the Dead . . . . . Part Five

As Young Higgs, Alice, the White Rabbit and the Identical Twins enter the great hall there is an eerie silence, dust and cobwebs cover the tables and a shaft of light through the window falls onto a small object on the floor ahead of them.  Alice walks across and picks it up and gives it to the White Rabbit who smells it intently nods and then hands it to Young Higgs.

What is that said Young Higgs

It’s the remains of Harry Potters Wand it is a bit short and charred but enough should remain to get him back.

I’m not sure exactly how I’m meant to do that I thought someone here might help.

No we don’t need help we do stuff like this all the time so we can make it up as we go along it will workout fine.

With that the White rabbit pulls out his rather large flick knife and carves a drawing in the top of a table showing a circle and the cat in the glass jug in the centre he points at the ash and the cat in the glass jug and indicates that Young Higgs should lay them out as shown. Young Higgs does this and then they all stand round the thin circle of ash.

OK Master Higgs it is time to use the wand said Alice

What am I meant to do with it?

All you need to do is wave it about and watch

As Young Higgs waves the wand the ash slowly but surely starts to creep clockwise. Slowly speeding up, getting faster and faster. As it speeds up so more ash appears lifting into the air in a huge spiralling vortex, becoming a blur of shapes and forms. Then the sounds of fire and screaming grow in volume and the shapes of the young wizards start to form in the ash as it spins.

Young Higgs, Alice, the White Rabbit and the twins move backwards and as they do so young confused wizards are propelled out of the ash vortex landing with a huge thud on the wooden floor. Within just a few minutes there are hundreds of them running about and then in one last crash the vortex vanishes and Harry Potter and Hermione Granger are sat on the floor next to a very large smiling cat.

Cricks says Harry Potter we have been saved that’s damn good

Well it was inevitable Harry I told you we would be said Hermione who looking at Alice and the White Rabbit asks And Who are you

I am the Heroic Heroine of this story and the reason you are here

Surely NOT I think you will find I am the heroine. i don’t think a Mary poppins lookalike is likely to get aNY lead role. And what is that cat doing

It is the cheshire cat and it is about to vanish and go back home.

The Cheshire Cat slowly floats into the air and starts to fade and as it does so it sings

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

Beware the What says Harry Potter but before anyone can respond the main door of the great hall is smashed down by a huge and scary beast

Hermione quickly looks in her copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, but the beast is not listed Harry its not in the Book she shouts at him.

It is the Jabberwock surely you know that says Alice and it is no good trying any of that wizards stuff on it, it wont work.

With that both Alice and the White Rabbit pull out large Flick Knifes and run at the huge scary beast perform a couple of triple somersaults in the best tradition of any good Kung Fu film and throw the knifes deep into the chest of the Monster. The beast crashes to the ground and as it does turns to dust, steam and smoke which fills the great hall. Silence falls except for young wizards coughing and spluttering in the dust and smoke; then (faintly at first) the sound of feet running, thousands of them getting louder and louder and louder.

Young Higgs says to Alice WHAT IS THAT.

It is time to go, me and my travelling companions are leaving through the back of one of the wardrobes as we have to meet a large Lion with delusions of grandeur. You will need to get to the other side of the great hall as quickly as possible.

With that Alice, the White Rabbit and the twins vanish off up a flight of stairs. As Young Higgs turned, a huge flock of flamingos entered the great hall causing chaos. But Young Higgs did as he was told fighting his way past flamingos, young Wizards, Harry Potter and Miss Granger as they wave wands about attempting to take control of the situation. Through the dust smoke and steam that swirled about from the death of the Jabberwocky, he pushes and weaved until he hears a strange sound, a muffled distorted voice from a tannoy. As young Higgs looks up he suddenly realized he is back at Kings Cross Station with staff chasing flamingos and angry commuters trying to get home.

As Young Higgs opened the front door of his home his mother says HELLO SON I THOUGHT YOU WERE OFF ON A TRIP, he looked at his watch and exactly two minutes and twenty three seconds had passed since he left, YES I WAS he said BUT IT IS SORTED NOW.  That evening he watched his dad Professor Brian Dumblecox on the BBC ten o’clock news explaining that the sudden appearance of Flamingos at Kings Cross was proof of the existence of Quantum Mechanics and we should expect more events of this nature to occur.

The following Morning he thought he might just go to the strange old book shop where he found his copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. As he walked in he found the shop heaving with young wizards buying books and waving wands about and going on about Hogwarts being open again.  Then the bookshop owner said AH MASTER HIGGS I HAVE a BOOK FOR YOU LEFT BY a YOUNG LADY YESTERDAY. He looks at the book called Alice Through the Looking Glass, IT’S A RARE FIRST EDITION YOU ARE VERY LUCKY said the bookshop owner Young Higgs opened the Book and inside it said . . . . I’LL BE BACK . . . . ALICE


Well you will notice I have cunningly left this open for a sequel or even 6 or 7 sequels. This is what you need to do if you want to be famous. . . . . . . Im no fool.


  1. You have inspired me to do things more cunningly. If someone asks I wiLL just say I was trying to be more like Rob The Cunningly. When they ask, "Was he the guy on the TV show 'Happy Days'?", I will say, "No, you are thinking of Richie Cunningham." I always think that Cunningham must mean 'intelligent pork' and smile when I hear the name.

    1. I like being Rob the Cunningly it has a medieval sort of feel to it allowing me to wave a pointy stick at pigs in a richly intellectual flurry in order to make an intelligent point. . . . . . . .

      I make be typing gibberish

    2. Yes, but a medieval literary rubbish, a fresh spin. Perhaps it is medium evil, not sure. It would depend on how sharp the pointy stick is.

    3. I am going to write a new story about Harry, Higgs and Alice where the medium evil will be provided by a small fluffy Penguin . . . .

      It is all to do with an Advert on British TV by John Lewis Store for Christmas so it may appear a it confusing when I start,

  2. Love the crossover of characters. If the idea doesn't at least piqued the interest of a certain film maker, then I'm afraid nothing will.

    1. I fear it may be all to no avail but I will not be put off by simple issues like failure. In fact I am pondering the sequel as I ponder.