Monday, 8 July 2013
A Hot Day in a Speeding Ice Cube
Today was all about heat because it was hot again, some say it was hotter than yesterday and they may be right. But one thing for sure is it was hot very very very hot. I bet as I moan about how hot it was and still is, even though it is well into the evening there are people in far off lands saying CALL THAT HOT,THAT’S NOT HOT,THIS IS HOT as they show off their tropical forest or desert, but there is one thing all these really hot places don’t have which makes the heat in Britain so much worse than anywhere else on Earth. They don’t have us British complaining about the weather, we are the best in the world at doing that and can make any day into an epic weather disaster with a HA HA HA and the wave of a hand.
So I have tried twice to cool down but on both occasions things did not go to plan so I am back just being hot because as I said just a few seconds ago it was very very very hot and I mean hot.
So Plan One was to freeze myself into a large block of ice but there are draw backs to this which I had not planned on, the first of which is it is rather difficult to move. I bet you are thinking he should have thought of that its obvious, but due to excessive heat my brain was not working and by the time I was frozen in the block of ice it was too late. And I had not anticipated the arrival of some rather annoying Arctic Terns, who I swear were laughing and sniggering while they sat on the ice. Finally it is not good to be at the top of a long slope trapped in a block of ice when it starts to slide down the full length of the High Street, Esmeralda said she never pushed it but I could not turn (tern, turn HAH HAHAH HHAh ah ah hahhah hahh hahahhah haha) round to see. The good thing is that if you are trapped in a large block of ice hitting a brick wall at high speed will get you out. But I was really hot then . . . . . . .PHEW.
Plan Two, have a nice long bath now what could possibly go wrong, well it appears when I emptied the bath it flooded the utility room so I had to clean it up and in the process got rather hot due to the heat of the day as it was very hot…….. Did I tell you it was very very very hot today, I mean it really hot………
The DAMN beast has gone for now PHEW