Wednesday, 20 February 2013

A pheasant called Long John Silver and 30 million pounds worth of diamonds

I have just been watching Long John Silver limp across the grass at the front of the house going HAR HAR HAR pieces of grape HAR HAR. Yes you are thinking grape WHAT? Long John Silver was not really the sort of character to eat grapes he was more a red meat and mushy pea’s man, and you are right, however in this case Long John Silver is a Pheasant who has gained the name as a result of his limp, the patch over his eye and his handy skills with a cutlass. Skills well needed when you are dealing with two cats who have taken on the roll of the British fleet hell bent on eating Long John Silver, I cant remember if they managed to eat Long John Silver in the book or not but I noticed on the news that the British have managed to eat Silver the horse used by The Lone Ranger.

One of the fundamental problems horses have is unlike the pheasant they do not have the same skills in swordsmanship, in fact the very act of holding a sword is tricky for a horse. In my own case I prefer pheasants in the garden to horses and a horse would almost certainly break the bird table, as it is it is not really designed for Pheasants and a limping Pheasant is right at the limits of its design parameters.

After time travelling through most of yesterday after prodding a prototype unpredictability machine I am rather annoyed as it appears yesterday was a lovely day full of warmth and sun and today where I have taken the more conventional method of getting through the day it is grey and very cold, all I can say is typical. Luckily this did save me from the fate of the muddy hole but not from the final bits of the tongue and groove panelling, it is the really annoying tiny fiddly bits and odd bits of filler and rubbing down, Sometimes there are times when being good at something is not good. Talking of which dads old friend Benny Neckbender called by and said hello and has left a package with dad for safe keeping, apparently it has 30 million pounds worth of diamonds in it that Benny says was lying about on the runway of some airport and that no one seemed to want them. Dad has said that it is probably best not to mention the 30 million pounds worth of diamonds as mum will not be happy and it is just possible others may be wondering where they are . . . . . . . . . . . .AH DAMN 

Oooo yes my little YouTube clip tonight is from the secret life of Miss Fionaski the Famous Russian Spy who I said I will help to go global so if you wish to share it would be much appreciated; it is all in a good cause. . . . . . AH well it’s a good jolly anyway and Miss Fionaski does like to leap about a lot…..



  1. I generaLLy don't like diamonds. I find them difficult to digest and they seem to be hard om my teefth. I'm thinkink this isn't a bowl of Raisim Bram, these raisims look too shiny and clear and hard.


    2. Or furry fast and squeaky . . . . .WELL COOL .....HAH HAHAHHAHAH HAH HAHAHH HAH AH HAH AH HAH HA HAHHA HAHAHH HA

  2. I just spent a couple hours watching bad Russian drivers on youtube, eXhausting!!!

  3. I'm still laughing about Long John Silver eating mushy peas.