Monday, 21 January 2013
The Great Road Stealing Conspiracy, the dark side of snow
Life is returning to normal as the roads sort of get cleared although the Ghost Writer who was meant to head off to work today said that he could not make it due to the wrong sort of roads. Wrong sort of roads? It appears that according to the Ghost Writer the roads that have emerged from beneath the snow are in fact different roads to the ones that were there before. He says that he is convinced these are not the same roads and that they are inferior in quality and so they can’t be trusted. It appears this is all part of a huge government conspiracy and that they have hired some mad bloke with a weather machine and no scruples (where did that word come from very odd) who for a large sum of money will hide all the roads under snow so they can be stolen. Strangely everyone looked at dad.
I can here you all saying BUT WHY (or was it HE’S MAD), the Ghost Writer is saying that due to the economic climate of Britain which is apparently also cold wet and covered in snow the government have hatched a diabolical plan to sell all our decent roads to China who are selling so many cars (posh ones) to the Chinese people that they are unable to make enough good roads themselves and are buying up roads from struggling economy’s lead by unscrupulous leaders prepared to make a few pounds at any cost. So every time it snows a nano force of nano-bots replace another decent road with a cheap one full of potholes; even as I type the M6 is on its way to China and a replacement M6 has got speed restricts and bollards all over it to disguise its inferior quality. Apparently if you look under the M6 it has Made in Britain stamped on it, yes it appears in another diabolical twist in the story the new inferior roads are being made by British teenagers on a work creation scheme using old Starbucks coffee beans and coffee cups, all part of our governments youth training scheme. And in order to save money on pensions because for reasons the government cant understand pensioners are demanding money for things like food, the government have agreed to the limited use of pensioners are hardcore.
Ooooooo what did I do today . . . . . . . . AH yes I remember now so that’s good.