Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Fairy Tales and Radical Abstract Thinkers (RATs)

So School today, and very uneventful it was too although the English teacher did one of those things again that is very annoying because she never tells us in advance that she is going to do it, yes she made us write a fairy tale again.  So we had to come up with a  fairy  tale, story all about snow and stuff like that so I did my best.

Once upon a time there were three bears, they were Polar Bears so were keen gardeners, as we all know Polar Bears love gardening and the three bears were very good at gardening their iceberg lettuce had been given the seal of approval by the king himself The bears were very proud and had the head of the seal mounted on a board, and it hung in pride of place over the fire place. Baby Bear said it was the best curry they had ever had. . . .YUM.  And there was nothing the bears liked more than settling down in front of the TV in the evening and watching Snow White and the Seven Gardeners singing high ho high ho its off to hoe we go as they weeded their garden and told all the viewers how easy it all is (actually they were lying because behind the scenes when the cameras were not rolling there were in fact 27 gardeners and a small tractor)

Then one day in the middle of a particularly cold and snowy winter Snow White and the seven gardeners did one of those phone in competitions where everyone knows the answer, it was What is the common name of the plant Lilium Columbianum well Baby Bear said I know and ran off and phoned in the answer having listened to a man say. . . . Calls cost £1.50 a minute from a land line but may cost more from a mobile depending on your supplier and terms of contract, you must be over eighteen and refunds are not available.  Baby Bear was very excited but was frozen to he spot when he was told by Snow White that he was under eighteen and therefore unable to claim his prize of a handful of magic beans.  However Mummy Bear and Daddy Bear were a little upset and ate Snow White and the seven gardeners and a fox who kept blowing at their house huffing and puffing and blowing down Baby Bears snowman.

Baby Bear got to keep his magic beans and his snowman never blew down ever again and all because he knew that LILIUM COLUMBIANUM were known to all as Tiger Lilies  . . . . . The End 



  1. The Tiger Lillies? Hmmm...now where have I heard that group before?

    Spawn's face was a joy to behold as he listened to the link you provided earlier. It was half amusement and half confusion, with a smuttering of hysterical laughter thrown in.

    I do enjoy your fairy tales Rob Z. If you're thinking about entering this year's A-Z Challenge, then your tales might be the way to go. :)

    1. I will indeed be having a go at the A to Z, and making up Fairy Tales might be a jolly good idea . . . In fact best that we dont tell the rest of them that I am going to have a go at that (well I might if I remember) . . . . AH DAMN I think I may have let the cat out of the bag so to speak. I love the Tiger Lillies but they can be just a mite on the explicit side, always a bit of a risk for a child friendly blog such as my own.