Thursday, 15 November 2012

Time and one of the Dark Arts

After a day yesterday when we were travelling about in an instantaneous way thanks to The Speed of Dark and the use of a Dark Anti-Light Particle Beam Engine, today we (me) have been brought back down to earth with a bump by one of the Dark Arts.  This has arisen as a result of Esmeralda’s forlorn effort to escape from the maths class the other day by sawing off two legs of her desk. So today at school I have been assigned the job of assembling a new Flat Pack School Desk with Integrated Storage from IKEA. As dark arts go the assembly of flat pack furniture is one that would scare even the cleverest of men (even Professor Brian Cox).  This is a task that has its own effect on time, because it seems to take an eternity to do, I was working away for hours and finally thought I had got the legs attached to the top and was scratching my head about the storage thinking I have been here for hours I will miss the bus home if I don’t pay attention. But the reality was it was only twenty minutes, I then battled on for what felt like a few more hours and was wondering what the bits left over were for, only to have the headmaster pop his head round the door and say. Well done rob z tobor less than an hour, very impressive but I think you have put it together wrong . . . . . . .


So I dismantled it and pondered all the bits again, you see there was one thing missing one very important item and that was the assembly instructions so it was all an up hill struggle. Anyway the hours passed and I finally got all the legs attached to the top correctly and started on the storage. It felt like had been there all day and half the night by then; but based on my earlier miscalculation of time I estimated it must be lunch time so thought time for a bite to eat and wandered off to the canteen. Unfortunately there was no one there so I thought I must be early and decided to check on the rest of the class but it turned out by then I had been there all day and everyone had gone home and it was Dark outside, a dark beam of darkness not shining in through the window making everything dark .. . . . . . . . .AH . . . . .DAMN.

ON the bright side because dad thinks I have been doing extra swotting at school he has given me a packet of Dark Chocolate Coated Peanuts as a treat which I am eating as I type. . . . . . .YUM



  1. Hah, now I have thoughts of building a particle DE-accelerator.

    1. I wish you luck with that, it is a little beyond my abilities.

    2. Its a joke. PracticaLLy anything wiLL slow down and capture an alpha particle.

    3. You see I miss read the whole thing entirely and I thought you were planning to build a particle Dark Energy accelerator. My brain scrambled by flat pack things and chocolate peanuts. But you were decelerating, I am very silly sometimes and easily confused, but I will try and redeem my self by saying

      neutrino's . . . . . HAH HAHAH HAHH HAH ahahhahah hahah hahahh hahahaha ha