Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Rebekah Brooks the horse and very confused Alien Mushroom Creatures From Venus

There I was minding my own business pondering what I should write in my diary, should it be yet another quiet day at school watching the seagulls eating chips again and or discovering that the maths teachers large abacus when placed on the floor beads down makes a brilliant luge and that the corridors of the science block are almost an exact replica of the fabled Cresta Run. There is nothing more exciting than passing the physics teacher at 70mph lying on a luge (sorry abacus).

As I was saying I was pondering all this and listening to the wireless and eating a rather yummy stir fry.

So as I listened to the news on the wireless and the continuing death of the people of Syria, Mr Napoleon Beelzebub is not a happy man (Devil) and I was thinking will I discuss politics or the now rather large mushrooms in the box containing the Strange Alien Mushroom Creatures From Venus. Or maybe the rather good bonfire I had after school where I was allowed to burn all sorts of old unneeded spy stuff and a large pile of conifer from the once virgin unexplored forests of just outside our house.

Then in an instant everything suddenly changed by a story on the news about a horse. Now as you know I am not bitter and twisted that it was a horse that convinced the very nice Steven Spielberg to abandon my manuscript in preference for one full of war and horses. Leaving me abandoned in cyberspace with a few friends and a mad Ghost Writer for ever to write the longest story (ever) in the world. But really no longer had I thought to myself well it will be cat food now anyway, so no sequel for that horse. When dam it another one turns up. This time it appears that Mel Brooks (sorry Rebekah) Woman from the News of the World was given one by the police to look after, or as they said on the news adopted. ADOPTED WHAT???? Really I don’t really mind horses that much but people are going to have to watch they don’t take over the world because if both the right hand man of Steven Spielberg and Rupert Murdoch are not men but horses all I can say is something is going on.

Imagine the confusion of the Strange Alien Mushroom Creatures From Venus when they say take me to your leader and everyone points at a horse. What is more worrying it that these things come in threes so I am keeping a look out for the third one. The dog says it is all turning into a pantomime and has fallen about in hysterics …….. and mum has added IDIOT

Oooooo yes ............ one other thing we had huge claw marks in the concrete outside the cat flap this morning which might explain why the cats are not happy going out at night. Not sure what it is but it is not a horse PHEW…… 

I would thank Mr ESB for his contribution in the writing of this entry, without him there would be no abacus



  1. I can't believe anyone still uses an abacus (apart from for luging of course).

    1. The abacus is still common in some parts of the world and the have even developed the Abacus Scientific so it

  2. Um, I am confused, what did I contribute? I am suddenly under the weather and semi-delicious. Oh, I'm sorry, semi-delirious. I think its the flu or close proxy.

    1. its all to do with Lateral thinking and your comment about Norm and Al......