Monday, 11 July 2011

A Rough Guide to the Mathematics and Physics of Antimatter

It is the last week of school before the summer holidays so the teachers have sort of chilled and have told us to play hide and seek and hunt the thimble. I am definitely not playing hunt the thimble because it is the same one as last year and still hidden in the same place. Rumour has it the headmaster hid it while they were laying the foundations for the new wing.
Heavy Harry the Cat
Click on Picture for.....................................Gordon is a Moron


When I say new wing it’s not like an aeroplane wing or even a seagull wing but a bit of the building that takes a sharp left and has classrooms and a corridor and stuff.  So according to the head girl the thimble is under twenty tons of reinforced concrete, she even used a metal detector last year to try and find it but the steel reinforcement rods ruined that plan. No one really fancied hide and seek either so in the end I got the dog to come to school, he was teaching all the pupils Mathematics in the hall. While the teachers were playing poker in the office or as they call it The Escape Pod.

The dog was telling us that at a scale of 10^-33 centimetres, the structure of space-time will cease to be the implacable, smooth 'surface' and so he was making us look at the internal structure of the Quark. He said the science teachers think they don’t have a structure and are at a scale that they are an entity in their own right but he said they are IDIOTS. That seems a little unfair but the dog then started showing us the mathematics of antimatter but we were starting to get a bit lost so the dog gave us all a copy of The Rough Guide to the Mathematics and Physics of Antimatter.

Still all this pure mathematics is better than messing about in the playground all day in the sun we have almost eight weeks of that ahead of us in the holidays so best to learn stuff while we can. The teachers ended the day playing leap frog in the gym. While the pupils constructed a three dimensional model of the internal structure of the Quark in clay, plastic milk bottle tops and cocktail sticks (wooden ones).

The dog has given us all homework for tomorrow, not sure that was meant to happen and I don’t think I know anything about the three W and Z bosons of the weak force, and the eight gluons of the strong force.  I cant believe we are made of stuff like that but mum said YES WE ARE.

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